Neon Genesis Evangelion: Memento Mori
by PompeyMagnus
Summary: Bleach and Evangelion Crossover! A missing young woman, a pilot gone mad, and the dawning truths between their lives and deaths...ShinjixAsuka love! Action! Romance! Adventure! New story, please read and review.
1. Breakdown

What a trip this chapter was to make!

I had this first chapter all written out and then it was lost! I was torn and crushed and felt like I couldn't do it again, but I tried my best to remember it and improve on it...A bit short, but it's a prologue. :) 

I know what you're saying, "THE EVINCAR! You have like eight fanfics to update, you bastard, and you're making a new one! What the hell?" 

And you're totally justified, I can't help it, I just love making new stories. :) Don't worry though, this marks my return, I will update my other stories soon and try to keep good updates for Memento Mori. 

As for this fanfic, it's an Evangelion crossover with another anime, which I won't name just right now, though you'll know it when you see it. Just want to say that you don't need to have seen the other anime or anything, it'll all develop as it goes. I do consider myself the master of Evangelion crossover, after all, if you've read my fanfic NGE: Madness. Heh.

By the way, the chapters are named after certain poems I've written...and at the end of each chapter instead of an omake or something, I have the poem...Most of them fit with the mood of darkness in Evangelion, though not necessarily Evangelion-linked.

Well, let's get this started!

Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion or its characters. Gainax does, and they rock. Who else could create both Evangelion and FLCL!

* * *

**The Year 2022**

**Tokyo 3, Japan**

* * *

A goodbye kiss on the cheek and that freckled face recedes. 

I sigh. Hikari Horaki is still just as beautiful as usual, more beautiful having developed beyond that gangly-armed shy class representative who showered me with hidden love.

She smiles and my heart beams, illuminated.

"Goodbye Touji."

I nod with a lopsided grin, turning around and adjusting my tie as we both stare at my reflection in the mirror.

"Be in time for dinner honey…"

She knows I'd never miss her home cooking.

But I know that glance holds more than just kind caring, devotion, and a hint of worry.

Because today is visitation day.

Little Kaworu hops after me and searches the back of my pants with his adorable blue eyes as I step out the door, but Horaki holds him back with a sad shake of her head.

Smart little boy, always was. He knows where I'm going.

To see his father.

* * *

The nurse greets me with the harsh familiarity that one would use for a stray cat that stops by one's house every few weeks for a saucer of milk then flits away into the sunrise. 

She leads me closer to him, speaking her regulation mantra as always.

"No sharp objects, no…"

Yeah, yeah, I know it all already. I can't even count how many times I've been here, how many times I've contemplated the same thing.

Nothing that he can use to hurt himself or hurt others.

Yeah, nothing he can use to hurt himself, or free himself?

I stroll into the room, the nurse glancing in annoyance at my lit cigarette.

"Mr. Ikari has been incooperative as of late, Mr. Suzuhara…He hasn't been eating."

Yeah, yeah, like I need the nurse to point that little fun fact out.

I can see it in Shinji's arching ribs against his pale skin in his still position in the padded corner, arching like so many parts of a bridge.

But a bridge to where Shinji?

What're you trying to get?

Who're you trying to get back? _Her_?

I stare at him, slowing gaining the courage to speak.

"Back again Shinji…Where're you this time? I like to think you have some peace of mind inside your head…Maybe…she's there? Look Shinji…I know…I remember…But…We've been waiting for you…Hikari, Kensuke, Misato, Rei, all of us. Hell I bet even that bastard father of yours in prison misses your grudging visits…"

I pause, putting out my cigarette and gritting my teeth in exasperation. I move in closer, peering at those cerulean eyes that now seem so empty, but I can see some of that deceptive deepness still alive. Chicks dig the troubled type…

"Well…maybe not that. But…I'll keep coming until you come back from where you've gone, Shinji."

_Shinji Ikari gasped, taking in deep hollow breathes as he struggled in his friend's grasp, shouting incoherently, his young maturing face tattered with sweat._

"You're…too young for this Shinji…We were all too young for it…We all…miss her…"

"_ASUKA! My god…my god…my god…I saw her! I saw her!"_

_Touji stared in concern at his friend's desperate face, shaking his head and speaking in a conciliatory yet loud tone._

"_Shinji…she's gone…You saw her…She wouldn't want you to be like this! Not after! Not with Kaworu to think about."_

_He shook his head, not acknowledging his friend's voice as his face suddenly darkened, Shinji Ikari glancing up with a sort of resolute madness at his long-time friend, Touji Suzuhara._

"_No…I saw her! Dead? Hah!"_

_He laughed, a psychotic, high-pitched tone of hopelessness._

"_Hah! I saw them…they took her! TOOK HER! TOOK HER! TOOK HER! TOOK HER! TOOK HER! TOOK HER! ASUKA! ASUKAAA!"_

"That day…I know I can't ever understand how hard you took it…It broke you…you got worse and worse with her gone…You just couldn't come to terms with it."

I sigh, shaking my head.

"I know how much she meant to you…she meant a lot to all of us, but we love you, you know that Shinji? Misato's gotten worse, she's a mess…and Rei's even more withdrawn if such a thing's possible! Don't worry about Kaworu, he's just waiting for his father to come back…and his moth…I…"

"_She said yes Touji! She said yes!"_

_Shinji Ikari beamed with a gallant smile, something Touji Suzuhara was quite sure he'd never seen splayed on the nineteen year old's face in their many years of friendship._

"_Eh? Really! Shinji you old devil! Were there any conditions? Like 'YOU MUST GIVE ME YOUR IMMORTAL SOUL, BAKA HENTAI!'"_

_Shinji chuckled in good humor, shaking his head in playful disapproval._

"_Aww come on Touji, you know Asuka's changed since those 'Red-Headed Demon' days, since…the Impact…"_

"But…we'll be waiting for you Shinji, old pal…Just…come back to us…"

I sigh, rising and turning to that bitch nurse.

"I'm done, miss."

* * *

Touji Suzuhara stepped out of the cold unfeeling sanitarium, slowly putting on his jacket and breathing out against the chill of the fall wind. 

A musing thought bounced in his head as he strolled to his car.

_Why hadn't the others shown? _

Inside his padded, gray enclosure, Shinji's cerulean eyes flitted up to the padded cell that enclosed him, both figuratively and literally, speaking two quiet words.

"Unfamiliar…ceiling."

All the years that Shinji Ikari had tried to escape from in the madness, all those memories, of her, of what happened, they finally caught him in this deranged marathon called life.

He let out an unearthly scream, something surging in his body as he felt nothing but her. HER! HER! Her essence, her smell, her smile, her laugh, her eyes, her face, her touch, her clothes, her legs, her voice, her heart, her soul! HER!

"Asuka..."

He screamed.

And in the distance, in the shadows and winding modern catacombs of Tokyo, the 19th Messenger listened.

* * *

**Breakdown **

**Insanity is no excuse for the breakdown**

**Chaos is not glamorous**

**Letting the demons within have you without,**

**Without stall,**

**To torment your soul until the Fall**

**Furies of the mind, they do grin**

**To revel in this madness, and in my sin.**

**To rip you apart, piece by piece**

**As you moan and let out a sobbing groan**

**The truth does not allow the pain to cease.**

**You're alone, and believe me, you'll die alone**.

_**Copyright Sanbud Tehrani **_

* * *

Like I said, this is sort of an initial opener chapter, so don't be disappointed if it seemed short, my usual updates are much bigger.

Anyway, as usual with most of my fanfics, I have the plot mapped out already for dozens of chapters. Hope you enjoy it. 

Now get out there and read my other major fanfics, Neon Genesis Evangelion: Madness, End of Evangelion: Darkness, and Shinji's Stronghold (To name a few)!


	2. A Dream

Well, I'm in a writing mood, so I felt like going for the second chapter…Don't want to make this a first chapter write forever…Let's start steaming forward!

By the way, the chapters are named after certain poems I've written...and at the end of each chapter instead of an omake or something, I have the poem...Most of them fit with the mood of darkness in Evangelion, though not necessarily Evangelion-linked.

Well, let's get this started!

Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion or its characters. Gainax does, and they rock. Who else could create both Evangelion and FLCL!

* * *

**The Year 2022**

**Tokyo 3, Japan**

**

* * *

**

I couldn't bear to let him see me like this.

No, not like this.

I don't know if he's cognizant or anything, but it doesn't matter, I can't let him see me like this.

I sigh, slowly unraveling my messy hair in the mirror, staring at my steadily aging face. I still get a lot of lecherous glances, not that I care anymore…

It's a mess…just…all a mess…

First Kaji…then Asuka…and because of that…my beautiful charges…They deserved more than this. Far far more.

Fucking Gendo Ikari. Fucking Angels. Fucking Third Impact.

No time to think, I'm already late. Touji's probably already with him…

I sigh, pushing a mass of empty beer bottles away and inspecting my clothes, brushing off any signs of the mess that is my apartment.

I'm…presentable…

I sigh, stepping towards the door.

"Is there anything I can do, my Kaji?"

I can almost see him there, still just as young with that lop-sided grin on his face.

Almost, almost, but I usher it away. That's bad craziness.

Bad craziness.

* * *

I know I'm late, dammit, you don't need to tell me that. Looks like Touji's already came and gone. 

Yes, yes, I know visitation hours are almost over, I need to see my Shinji…My poor, poor Shinji…I don't know how to feel but empty…

I bend over, brushing the hair from his face, it's been growing longer.

He looks the same as he did at their marriage…oh I remember crying like a baby…But…his eyes had changed…They looked empty…Numb.

"_Who gives this woman to be married to this man?"_

_Misato Katsuragi stood up proudly, smiling at Asuka._

_Asuka Langley Sohryu was a vision of beauty at nineteen, she had matured into a ravishing young woman, and in that elegant white dress she seemed almost angelic. Misato felt tears welling in the corner of her eyes._

"_Gina, since you intend to enter into marriage, join your right hands together and declare your consent to the government of Japan."  
Shinji smiled, beaming to a point of disbelief, Asuka and Shinji smiled at each other with stupid, simple smiles. Simple and uncomplicated, pure looks of utter happiness. It had been a long and insane road to this point. One would have imagined them dead by now, not marrying in bliss._

"_I Shinji Ikari take thee Asuka, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish til death do us part."  
"I Asuka Langley…Ikari…take thee Shinji, marriage to have and to hold for sickness and in health, richness and poorness oh, to love and to cherish, in the best and worst of times… til death do us part."  
"The rings please. Thank you. Bless these rings and grant that they who wear them may abide in faithful love and continue in bliss forever…."_

_Shinji turned to her, slipping the immaculate ring onto her delicate finger as Asuka did the same back to him.  
"As a token of our faith and abiding love with this ring I thee wed.  
"In token and pledge of our biding love and constant faith, with this ring I thee wed."  
**"**For as much as Asuka and Shinji have consented together in wedlock and declared the same by joining of hands and giving and receiving of rings. I now pronounce you man and wife. Those whom have joined together today, let no man put asunder. You may kiss the bride."_

Let…no _man_ put asunder…If it wasn't a man, then what was it, dammit?

Her Asuka…Her Shinji…Supposedly a man had pulled them asunder, a drunk driver one late night. Shinji changed the second he heard, and never recovered, growing in delirium and denial.

I reach out, cupping Shinji's cheek, words spilling out of my mouth.

"Shinji…please…come back to us…Where are you in that mind of yours?"

"_No…Misato…you don't understand!"_

_Misato sobbed quietly._

"_What're you talking about Shinji! Please…don't do this…you're…you're just hurting yourself…Asuka's gone…No one took her away…She's passed…"_

_Shinji smiled desperately and shook his head._

"_Not even you…understand."_

I sigh, leaning in to kiss Shinji on the lips, faintly, just a delicate brush.

"Oh…but I do understand Shinji…You know how much she meant for me as well…I love you both…but I can't see you like this…No one likes it…No one…"

Can he feel anything there? Wherever he is? Can he feel my lips? Hear the love in my voice? Does he miss me? Is Asuka where he is?  
I feel overcome by grief and wrap my arms around his limp form, leaning my face in and kissing him passionately.

I know…its wrong…but…I need it…I need to feel him close…I'm weak…

I sob into his unfeeling chest and slowly I feel his arms wrapping around my back.

Just a hallucination…another one…Are you around then Kaj-

Suddenly I an ethereal scream and feel Shinji shove me away onto the ground, it feels real this time…oh….darkness…weak…

* * *

_The figure in black hovered above nothingness, his eagle helm looking down patronizingly on nothingness._

_The boy winced, watching as the red-haired girl smiled at him and walked away._

_He turned away, for a final time._

"_Can I dream alone?"_

"_That would not be a dream. It would just be a projection of reality." _

"_Then... where is my dream?" _

"_That is the extension of reality." _

"_My... where is my reality?" _

"_That is at the end of the dream."_

"_Move, move, move, move, move, move, move, move, move, move, move, move, please move! If it doesn't move now, if I don't do it now, everyone's going to die! I can't stand it anymore! It'll all be for nothing if you don't move!" _

"_Eva Unit 01? No, I'm not there…" The pale girl turned to the boy, her crimson eyes glistening. _

"_This is the sea of LCL... The primordial soup of life. A world without AT Fields... Without your own shape. An ambiguous world where it is impossible to tell where you end and other people start. A fragile world where you exist everywhere, and thus exist nowhere. You must recover you lost self on your own. When you'll be back on Earth, if you succeed to imagine yourself, everybody will be able to recover" _

"_Back on Earth!" _

"_Yes, you must go back on Earth...It has changed now."_

_The boy sighed, shaking his head._

_"You betrayed me! You betrayed my hopes! My life!"_

_"You've misunderstood from the very beginning. You believed in it wrongly Embrace the figure in black."_

_"Nobody needs me. Therefore, everyone should die."_

_"Then, what is your hand for?"._

_"Everyone is the same, even though I'm here or not. Nothing ever_

_changes. That's why everyone should die." _

_"Then, what is your heart for?"_

_"I don't deserve to be here either. Therefore, I should also die."_

_"Then, why are you here?"_

_"Can I be here?" _

_A soft voice._

"_Only if you wish it…"_

"_No…I've had enough of this…It is only in my mind that the pain exists…therefore."_

"_It is done"_

"_No! I don't want this! Asuka! Kaworu!"_

_He tore through the fog and darkness, feeling warmness encircle him, he tore through the darkness and faced the figure in black._

_It looked like himself…except this Shinji had vile glowing, fiery eyes and a malevolent smirk and half of his face was slowly being covered by a growing mask. The mask was streaked with purple and white and it reminded him of Eva Unit 01's demonic appearance, making Shinji shudder backwards._

_But no, he could see through the fire in this Shinji's eyes, this figure in black, behind it he saw hollowness, emptiness…Hollow Shinji…_

_Shinji screamed at the top of his voice, until his tongue burned and his lungs were torn ragged._

Shinji awoke suddenly with full purpose and cognizance. He felt as if he had heard their conversations with him over the years, one-sided though they were, he felt as if he knew the truth.

_Asuka…_

It rushed into his skull just as he felt a rush of wind, pushing a sobbing Misato roughly away just before a chunk of rock flattened them both, rolling out of the way, his bonds broken, his mind blazing as he looked at the massive creature that had barged through the sanitarium walls, apparently slaying the nurse.

"An….angel!"

It was massive and horrific, a black bear-like beast with bony spikes covering it and a massive white mask covering its face with hollow terrifying eyes. It roared, smashing through the walls and cleaving the corpse in half.

Shinji stared in fear and confusion at it, not understanding what to do, his contemplation giving the creature swing its massive paw at another target.

_Misato!_

Misato rose quietly, feeling a pain in the back of her head.

Shinji stood in front of her, staring intently, furiously at the crumbled wall of the sanitarium and the dead nurse laying there.

Her glance flitted back and forth to Shinji and the rubble, wondering what in the hell he was staring at, when suddenly, she felt a suddenly rush of pain from an unseen force and hurtled painfully onto the ground.

Shinji screamed in fury, rushing towards Misato and hurling chunks of rock and rubble that bounced harmlessly off the massive creature.

She was alive, though he could see blood oozing from her broken nose and from her lips.

He cradled her in his arms and looked up just in time to see the massive beast rearing its claws back for a final swipe.

_So…it ends here…_

"The 19th Messenger!"

He picked up a piece of stone angrily and hurled it at the creature's face, sending a slight crack in the creature's mask, though it only made the beast flinch, the creature rearing back again.

Shinji shut his eyes in desperation, trying to take himself back to those memories of Asuka, of their child, of her legs, her eyes, her soul, her skin, her essence, her being, her…her…

Suddenly a coarse female voice, totally unfamiliar.

"Rocks? I'll show you how it's done!"

He opened his eyes just in time to see a pale young woman dressed in a black kimono hurtle towards the beast, drawing a sword at her hip and cleaving it in two.

_Perhaps he had been safer staying inside that darkness…at least it was quiet and peaceful…_

_

* * *

_

**A Dream**

**I had a dream it wasn't real **

**And all but meaningless **

**That life and its lessons **

**Tests **

**Love were all **

**Just nothing **

**Flowing past a jive **

**That really it meant nothing more **

**Than sex and drugs and a constant buzz **

**To live and be alive **

**I timbered down **

**Gilded stairs **

**And searched around confused **

**A life around me hapless **

**Hopeless **

**A prince without a muse **

**I had a dream it wasn't real **

**That I could in my rage **

**Tear across page by page **

**This life **

**This loss **

**This petty age **

**Indeed I can **

**Indeed I can **

**Though I fear to try to see **

**Where the dream ends **

**Or where it began **

**If   
**

**It**

**Began**

_**Copyright Sanbud Tehrani**_

* * *

Utterly confused? Short chapter? Odd chapter?

Don't worry, more will progress as we advance, getting longer, deeper, cooler, just stick for the ride. Hehehe….


	3. Death By

Time for Chapter Three…Boy, I've been writing pretty quickly for me...Which means I'm enjoying this fanfic, hope you enjoy reading it as much as I do writing it, I've been updating a whole lot of my stories lately.  


By the way, the chapters are named after certain poems I've written...and at the end of each chapter instead of an omake or something, I have the poem...Most of them fit with the mood of darkness in Evangelion, though not necessarily Evangelion-linked.

Anyway, enough of the Author's Note, let's get it started in here!

Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion or its characters. Gainax does, and they rock. Who else could create both Evangelion and FLCL!

* * *

**Tokyo 3, Japan**

**Kiriyama Sanitarium **

Shinji Ikari watched in utter disbelief as the young woman in the black kimono roared, sending hard slash into the creature that toppled it down back into the rubble.

She spun around and Shinji got a good look at her face as she landed.

She seemed rather slim and slender, with short black hair and delicate skin.

Not able to digest what had happened, his eyes flitted back to Misato, who lay limp and unconscious in his arms and then back to the woman.

"Who're you!"

She strolled by him, sheathing her sword and not paying any mind.

"Hello! Who are you!"

Suddenly she stopped, her back stiffening and she turned with a dumbfounded look at Shinji.

"You can see me!"

She paused, ignoring Shinji's confusion and scratching her delicate chin.

"This is strange…ordinarily no one should be able to see me like this…"

"What're you talking about?"

She ignored his confused voice and stared intently at him, nodding to himself.  
"Very well, I shall tell you…I am…a Shinigami…"

"Shini-what!"

She ignored his response, Shinji already getting a bit irritated by this strange haughty-toned woman, and looked around the crumbling sanitarium carefully.

"More of these messengers are coming…It would be a good idea to run…I'll tell you what I can."

* * *

Meanwhile, beneath the rubble, the massive creature groaned, a piece of the white mask covering its face crumbled away by the woman's sword slash slowly reforming. 

_Shinji…SHINJI IKARI! THAT SCENT! THAT SOUL! UNMISTAKABLE! I have been searching for it for a long while…_

_

* * *

_

Shinji stared unblinkingly at the sword-toting woman in black, suddenly wishing he'd stayed in withdrawal after he'd heard her ludicrous fairy tale.

"So…you're a Death God…who…came all the way from a place called 'Soul Society' to vanquish evil spirits?"

She nodded slowly, as if it were the most normal, understandable thing in the world.

He continued on, speaking slowly.

"Which means that the messenger earlier was…an evil spirit?"

"They…they are from Lillith….You know them as 'Angels', an ironic term…some are seen, most unseen by mortals, except the most powerful kinds…"

Shinji raised his tired brow, responding.

"And…they attacked us?"

She nodded, smiling at the idea that he was comprehending.

Shinji broke into laughter, slapping the ground angrily and suddenly feeling the urge to bail the hell out of there with Misato before this maniac spun more mental illness. Hell, she was probably a patient who broke out in the attack!

"_Who's_ in the sanitarium again!"

She frowned angrily.

"You fool, you can see them but you refuse to believe in the existence of what I have told you!"

Shinji looked away, laughing.

"I've seen them before…I fought them long ago…But I've never seen these Shinigami you speak of, or evil spirits or any of that. They were…enemy targets, that's all."

_Kawuro smiled serenely as the large Evangelion hand grasped him, tight enough to stop escape, but not too tight as to break his skeleton._

"_Ah Shinji…I am glad. Thank you Shinji."_

"_Kawuro!"_

"_I wished you to take Unit 02 from me, otherwise I may have survived much longer"_

"_Kawuro…Why?"_

"_It is my destiny to live forever, though it will destroy the Lillim. However it is possible for me to be killed, and whether I live or die makes no great difference. The one thing you Lillim have never been able to grasp, is death maybe the only absolute freedom there ever was."_

"_What are you talking about Kawuro! I don't understand this!"_

"_This is my last wish, Shinji. Destroy me. Otherwise you will be destroyed. The life that escapes the time of annihilation, and that obtains the future, is only one and, you are not the one who must die."_

_Shinji looked down, his entire body shivering._

"_Shinji? Why do you hesitate? You need the future. It is what you live for."_

"_Kawuro…."_

"_Thank you. My life was meaningful because of you…Goodbye"_

The woman in black's angered voice interrupted these pained memories.

"Well, you're seeing me right now!"

Shinji sighed, taking Misato's limp arm around his shoulder and shaking his head in exasperation.

"Give me a break!"

She growled imprudently, then smirked.

"Don't believe me? Well then…"

Shinji raised an eyebrow as she reached one hand out towards his chest and shouted.

"Wave of Binding, number one!"

Suddenly, a burst of energy surging through Shinji's body and he gasped, letting go of Misato and falling prostate before the woman in black, onto the ground, feeling like every muscle in his body was seizing.

_I…can't…move…My…arms!_

His arms contorted so that they were around his back as if handcuffed invisibly, and he fell onto his stomach in submission, gasping in surprise.

* * *

The creature, the Angel stared from within the rubble, its regeneration almost complete, the sickening smell of the souls close by growing minute by minute. 

_The light of your soul…A sacred territory in which no one may intrude! But I will invade and devour it, Shinji Ikari! It pulses with delicious strength…Your A.T. Field…_

_

* * *

_

The young woman smirked, staring down at Shinji's paralyzed form.

"Just leave this to me…_Mortal_…"

He grunted angrily.

"What did you do!"

She smirked in that haughty superiority that was already getting on his tired nerves

"You can't move…This is Kido…the Demon Arts…"

Shinji strained to no avail, gasping as he tried to move his arms, his nerves not responding, his body felt cold and heavy like stone. Finally he sighed, ceasing his writhing while she continued gloating.

"…a noble magic that can only be used by a Shinigami…A death god…"

She sneered, adjusting her kimono and glaring at him.

"Normally I'd eliminate you…But it just so happens that I'm forbidden to harm people that I'm not ordered to…Be grateful…And while I'm here…"

Suddenly she reached for her hip, drawing the katana at her side and raising it over her head in Shinji's direction.

Shinji flinched suddenly, shutting his eyes in pained resignation, waiting for the blow to come.

_Asuka…_

It never came…and slowly, he opened his eyes.

The woman in black had shifted over to the nurse's corpse, and above it hovered an exact duplicate of the nurse that had taken care of unresponsive Shinji all these years, except she was translucent and glowing with an ethereal light.

The nurse's spirit stared at the woman in black, cowering over her own corpse.

"Please no! I don't want to go to hell!"

The woman smiled kindly, shaking her head.

"Do not be afraid, your destination is not hell…It is Soul Society."

She slowly placed the hilt of her blade over the nurse's forehead and it began to glow.

"Unlike Hell, it's a relaxing place…"

The nurse gasped in what seemed to be utter and total release, her ethereal form slowly vanishing into the ground.

Shinji's eyes blinked.

Once, twice, thrice.

_Can't be…real?_

"What…did you do to her!"

The woman smiled slightly, not looking towards him.

"I sent her to Soul Society…In your language you'd call it 'going to Heaven'."

She quietly slid the blade back into its sheathe and explained as one would explain phases of the moon to an elementary school child.

"That is one of a Shinigami's jobs…There two spirits, those that are known as the pure of soul, the Pluses, and those that have been corrupted, the 'Angels' as they are known to you or the Hollows as we more appropriately term them. We have two jobs, one is to lead Pluses to Soul Society through the Soul Burial I just used…and the other is to kill Hollows and purify them…You experienced a massive resurgence of powerful Hollow souls after the event you called Second Impact…yet the majority of the stronger ones were annihilated without our assistance."

Shinji grit his teeth, confused and helpless.

"And why are they after me!"

The Shinigami simply shrugged.

"I…don't know…Even we do not understand their full goals…"

Suddenly, the ground shook with a roar and the creature burst out of the rubble, flinging rocks and stones across the ruins.

Shinji wormed his way to cover Misato's limp form with his own, but the Angel sent one large clawed hand down and sent him flying, grasping the older woman first in his clawed fist.

_But first…an appetizer, Shinji…_

The Shinigami rushed forward, swinging her blade in a flying leap at the Angel, whose massive form rolled nimbly away, roaring and swiping its open paw at the Shinigami, who was just barely dodging.

Shinji growled, watching helplessly on the ground.

"Hey! Dammit! Misato!"

A rush of air around him and he saw the Shinigami fly from a swat the Angel had delivered, a direct hit, the woman however managing to roll onto her feet, blood streaming from the corner of her lip.

Shinji growled and gasped helplessly, struggling and worming his body forward towards the Shinigami who stared at him with widening eyes.

"Stay back!"

"Misato!"

He gasped in pain, struggling farther across the rubble.

The Shinigami's eyes widened even more and she gasped to herself.

"He's moving even under the Kido magic!"

Putting away her momentary shock, she stared at the Angel holding Misato helpless in its hand and then flitted back to the squirming Ikari.

"You're in my way…Move!"

Ikari's only response was a roar of pain as he somehow drew himself up to his knees, his arms trembling as he tried to break free of the paralysis, his body burning with strain and agony.

She gasped in worry and surprise.

"Don't! It could never be broken by human strength! If you force it…your soul can't survive that…"

_Shinji's cooking were interrupted by soft sobbing. At first Shinji reached for his face, thinking he had been crying without himself realizing it, as he often was these days. Yet his face was mostly dry, and on closer inspection, he realized the sound was emanating from Asuka's room._

_Shinji slowly inched his way towards the closed door and then froze, sweat dripping off his brow. He remembered the last time he had tried something...she had been having these nightmares for weeks it seemed._

_The Third Child nodded to himself as if silently affirming something and then began to slowly and silently open the door, as if he hoped Asuka would be asleep and he wouldn't have to do anything._

_The opened door revealed Asuka silently dozing on her bed, her eyes red from tears, but evidently sleeping and not cognizant of Shinji's intrusion._

_Shinji smirked to himself, glad that he hadn't actually encountered anything and spun around to leave when his foot caught on something and slammed him down on the ground._

_Shinji swore silently as Pen-Pen skittered off after accidentally tripping him. Then he noticed where he was lying._

_He was on the ground and his face was inches away from Asuka's slumbering countenance, so close that he could almost feel her warm breath on his face._

_Shinji stared at the face and blushed deeply._

_She was like an angel in slumber, even when she was so teary-eyed._

_He could stare at it for hours, yet he knew it was time to do something, mainly flee as fast as possible before she woke up, or..._

_In a fit of bravery caused by a mix of empathy and hormonal passion, Shinji slowly edged his face closer to the beautiful face in front of him. Each second as he drew close seemed like an eternity._

_But finally their lips touched, and Shinji drank in a light yet satisfying peck on her lips, fully expecting to die when she woke up. But he was in peace now, and would be willing, he told himself, after that._

_Suddenly Asuka moved her face closer, her eyes still closed and clamped her lips onto his, responding in a deep kiss, which sent Shinji in a biological frenzy and almost gave him a stroke as he felt her tongue slashing against his lips and her slow pleased moans._

_Suddenly the Second Child's eyes opened wide like some demon's, and she stared at the face in front of her wildly._

_"SHINJI!"_

_SHINJI SHINJI SHINJI SHINJI_

"Asuka…Misato...I won't let you die..."

Shinji let out a shattering roar, wrenching his arms away from his back and rising with a scream, turning to the Angel which sent a roar of its own back.

The Shinigami gasped.

"A human dissolving Demon Magic on his own!"

Before her confusion could be satiated, Shinji had leapt forward and grabbed a metal folding chair from the rubble, charging full speed at the Angel's form.

The Shinigami couldn't believe his foolhardiness.

"No! You idiot! Wait!"

* * *

Misato moaned, wondering why she was floating in the air…by herself… 

And why Shinji was rushing below her with a folding chair.

_What…in the hell!_

She could feel something holding her, but she couldn't see it, it was as if the air itself had pressed into her chest, holding her still.

"_Major Katsuragi, your report!"_

_Gendo! Gendo! You…bastard…Never cared about your son…never…_

Misato Katsuragi screamed as the shimmering form of the Angel was revealed to her for the first time and she simultaneously glimpsed Shinji rushing in to attack. A foolish maneuver.

"Shinji! No!"

* * *

Shinji hadn't any time to respond to Misato's shriek or the massive fist batting his foolish charge away and sending him slamming into the ground. 

"Misato…"

The Angel let out a predatory roar, its massive fist reaching down for Shinji's form.

Ikari quickly rolled out of the way with a pained gasp.

_That's gotta be a rib at least…_

Just as he did so, the Shinigami hurtled forward, her sword drawn in a flash to slice open the arm holding Misato, sending the Angel roaring in agony and retreating with a leap into the night air and Misato hurtling dangerously down towards the ground.

Shinji gasped, sprinting forward and leaping just in time for his body to intercept her impact, gasping as he felt her form collide into his already pained body.

"Misato…"

The Shinigami glanced at the two, sighing as she searched for any sign of the retreated beast.

"Don't panic, her A.T. field is intact…her soul is fine…"

"Really!"

She nodded, a serious look dawning on her face.

"Yeah…I see it now…It's seeking souls with high spiritual power…Wait…That's it!"

Shinji glanced at her in confusion.

"What…do you mean? What's it?"

"I don't know why, but until just now your soul was subdued to the lowest level…So I didn't sense anything from you, and none of them attacked you…until now…"

She paused, looking grim, then continued.

"It's just a guess…but the pulse that was sleeping inside of your body, the pulse of your soul, the light of your soul…it was awakened earlier today…"

_Inside his padded, gray enclosure, Shinji's cerulean eyes flitted up to the padded cell that enclosed him, both figuratively and literally, speaking two quiet words._

"_Unfamiliar…ceiling."_

_All the years that Shinji Ikari had tried to escape from in the madness, all those memories, of her, of what happened, they finally caught him in this deranged marathon called life._

_He let out an unearthly scream, something surging in his body as he felt nothing but her. HER! HER! Her essence, her smell, her smile, her laugh, her eyes, her face, her touch, her clothes, her legs, her voice, her heart, her soul! HER!_

_"Asuka..."_

_He screamed._

Shinji's cerulean eyes widened in pained shock as the female continued.

"This creature…sensed your strength here, it sensed your field…It's after you!"

He gasped, choking out the words as if they were razor-sharp daggers.

"They're…after…me…"

_Suddenly, the ground shook with a roar and the creature burst out of the rubble, flinging rocks and stones across the ruins._

_Shinji wormed his way to cover Misato's limp form with his own, but the Angel sent one large clawed hand down and sent him flying, grasping the older woman first in his clawed fist._

He rasped out the words in disbelief and then cold conviction_  
_

"After…me!"

_Asuka fell to her knees, the explosion rocking the street as Shinji rushed towards her with wild eyes._

_The creature grasped her in its fist, shimmering with strength…The 19th Messenger…_

Suddenly, the ground shook once more and the Angel burst out again, its arm still damaged but its fury apparently heightened far more.

The Shinigami turned towards it, gasping and motioning towards Shinji.

"You go, run!"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"

Shinji shook his head wildly, falling to his knees and slid up against the ground, trembling, limp, and his back against the wall as he clutched his face, ripping into it with his fingernails, shedding blood.

The Shinigami stared in bewilderment as the Angel stomped laboriously towards them.

"What're you doing!"

He sobbed, an oddly tinted fluid that was obviously a mix of his tears, sweat, and blood flowing down his face.

_A brilliant glow surrounded the cowering young man, a glowing human form radiating him, the form of a young woman with brilliant eyes._

"Asuka…"

_Shinji Ikari rose, the blazing feminine form behind him seeming to fuel a new fire in his soul, and his eyes, oh his cerulean eyes, now swirling with a look of defiant anger._

The Shinigami stared at the trembling young man, feeling a surge of power coming from him that she could not comprehend; however, he simply rose resolutely, posing her with a simple question

"You're saying…it attacked because of me!"

She raised an eyebrow, frantically glancing at the approaching beast.

"What're you getting at…"

He laughed, an empty pitiful noise and screamed his response.

"It's…my fault! My burden!"

Shoving her aside, he roared, charging full speed at the Angel, which as if anticipating this, moved forward with its claws outstretched.

"Hey! No!"

The Shinigami gasped as Shinji stopped defiantly in front of the Angel, clenching and unclenching his fists and speaking in an empty tone.

"Hey…you want me, don't you?"

The Angel only responded with an echoing roar and reached out to rend the former Third Child apart with its claws.

Shinji closed his eyes, awaiting the final blow.

It never came.

A dripping noise, a pained…female gasp?

He opened his eyes, which widened in shock as he glimpsed the Shinigami grasped in the claw of the beast, having intercepted the blow meant for him.

She gasped in pain, blood dripping from her shoulder and arm and falling in a thick pool onto the ground.

Roaring, the Shinigami strained against the Angel, slashing at its arm and then leaping forward to send a heavy blow at the white mask on the angel's face.

It stumbled backwards, a heavy part of its mask falling to the rubble, though the Angel quickly covered its face and shrieked in bestial agony.

Meanwhile, the Shinigami fell to the floor, gasping as blood poured from her wounds, toppling onto her knees as blood stained her black kimono and hakama.

Shinji's eyes widened, his rage forgotten, only feeling an emptiness and worry as the Shinigami finally fell in a pool of blood onto her belly.

"Shinigami!"

_More hurt because…of my weakness…_

She shook her head, gritting her teeth from what seemed like obviously intense pain, spitting out the words as blood dripped from her delicate attractive young face.

"You…fool…You should know…that you're…nothing against that…"

She groaned, painfully trying to use her hands to push herself back up to her knees, blood dripping down her arms.

"Or did you think it would all end smoothly if you gave it yourself! A sacrifice! Fool! Don't you value your life at all?"

Shinji turned suddenly, startled by a sudden shriek, the Angel clutching its face and dropping its massive arm.

He could see it now, the lower quarter of the fierce, bestial white mask that covered the head of the Angel cleaved off…to reveal…an eerily familiar smirk.

* * *

**Death By...  
**

**Wring my neck, smother my soul**

**I know in truth, you hate me, hate me, all.**

**All of my cursed body and mind**

**You'd smash them all, if you could find**

**A way to discard your foolish conscience**

**Stick that knife in my gut**

**Break my skull, deepen the cut**

**Hang me until I scream and scream**

**Rip me apart at my very seems**

**Slice me, cut me, choke me, kill me, please**

**Ignore the screaming, ignore the crying**

**Strangle, smother, crush, flay**

**But in the end, I'm not afraid of dying**

**Because pieces of me die everyday.**

_**Copyright Sanbud Tehrani**_

* * *

Things will be getting very interesting…

I love crossovers, if you've seen the greatest crossover fanfic ever, my insanity, Neon Genesis Evangelion: Madness.

For Memento Mori however, worry not, it will only be Evangelion crossovered with Bleach, and you don't necessarily need to have seen Bleach to follow along, so don't fret, stay on for the ride…

You'll be surprised how I link the two series deeper as we go along…It'll be fun hopefully, see you next chapter.


	4. The Boy Who Doesn't Talk

Sorry if I haven't been updating my fics lately. For one, I have about ten gazillion to update, two, I'm busy with school, three, I actually had a new chapter for this fic written ages ago, but I lost it and had to rewrite it from scratch. That's always a pain, but oh well, I'm back for now…

Sorry if it's odd or lame, but honestly the last time I ever released a chapter for any of my fanfics was July of last year! Wow, ages ago! I hope to start updating my other big fanfics, such as NGE: Madness, so for those who are enjoying this, feel free to look at the other fics I've authored. Most of them are Evangelion fics, and pretty cool, I have a lot of stuff I've written and need desperately to update. 

Here we go!

_Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion or its characters. Gainax does, and they rock. Who else could create both Evangelion and FLCL! I don't own any fictional Bleach properties either._

* * *

**Tokyo 3, Japan**

**Streets of Tokyo 3**

Shinji Ikari could only tremble in fright and awe as he stared at the beast before him.

It clutched the bleeding stump that had once been its clawed arm and let out a terrible roar, the mask that had once covered its face toppling to the floor.

There behind it lay the unmistakable stare of Gendo Ikari.

Shinji could only tremble.

_Not this…not him…what does this mean!?_

The wounded Shinigami moaned, clutching her bleeding wound as she stared in obvious trepidation at Shinji.

"Do…you want to save your friend?"

Misato lay behind Ikari, clearly unconscious and in terrible shape, in the rubble of the buildings around them.

"There is a way to survive, no, to be exact, there is only one way."

The former Third Child hunched over, his entire body trembling as he muttered over and over under his breath.

"Not this…not this…not this…not this…"

The Shinigami gasped in pain, crawling towards the deluded Ikari, raising her sword to his chest.

"You must become a Shinigami."

Shinji trembled, shaking his head.

_I'm nothing…I am nothing…I…I can't do this…_

"Pierce the middle of your chest with my blade, the zanpakutou, and I will transfer half of my Shinigami powers!"

The beast loomed over them, apparently ignoring the bleeding for now, the Gendo face shining like a mask of evil upon its neck. It smirked and bared massive fangs, snorting steam and black flames.

"That way, you will attain the power of a Shinigami at least temporarily and will be able to fight on equal terms. However, I simply set this up because of your high spiritual nature, the percentage of success is not high. If it fails…you will die."

Suddenly it spoke in a terrible voice, one that certainly hinted of the former human Gendo Ikari, that commanding yet emotionless tone.

"YOU CAN DO NOTHING, THIRD CHILD, YOU ARE USELESS. USELESS BEINGS DO NOT DESERVE TO EXIST."

Shinji trembled beneath the voice and felt himself descending to that sobbing little child again, that little boy watching his own father turn his back and walk away.

"_No! Where's mamma! Don't leave me! Please! Stop it! No!"_

"However there is no time to deliberate, human! Act now or it will devour us all! Stand up, what are you doing?!"

_Asuka smiled, racing down the sidewalk, her blazing crimson hair leaving a sort of path for him to doggedly follow in adoration._

"_Hurry up Shinji, we don't have time to be wasting with that stupid otaku of yours!"_

_Shinji chuckled, catching up to her and shaking his head._

"_Now, now, you know how important this is to Kensuke, what am I supposed to do?"_

_Asuka licked her lips, smiling, every action captivating Shinji's senses at a maddening pace._

"_You and your Three Stooges…it's a wonder you ever got me to fall in love with you, 'Invincible Shinji'."_

_Shinji only smiled, wrapping his arms around her and nestling his nose in her soft hair, slowly taking in her warmth and scent as they embraced._

"_It was worth the work, my love."_

_Suddenly, Asuka's eyes widened in anything but loving warmth, staring past Shinji's shoulders at something it seemed only she could see coming. _

_A loud noise, a massive pressure against his back that made him feel like he was split into pieces, and then…gone…darkness…black._

Shinji gasped, his fingers in claws as he trembled and shook on the ground, his eyes wide and utterly insane. Suddenly, a voice entered his mind, part of his madness.

"Shinji…where are you…Shinji…"

No…it was real. He turned left, to see the barely conscious Misato muttering in pain and confusion.

"Don't…hurry…and get away…Shinji…it's dangerous."

_When he awoke, he could feel the ground trembling and blood dripping down his forehead. He felt for sure that most of the bones in his body had been broken, and he could see shattered pavement all around him. _

_But that mattered not, what mattered was…_

"_ASUKA?!"_

_He rose, screaming her name as he viewed the madness that stood before him._

_No…they had fought too hard for this to happen, endured far too much. The Angels, everything, their pasts, and finally they had had some peace._

_Asuka lay limp and bleeding in the massive clawed fist of the beast standing before Shinji Ikari, and it had to be at least thirty feet tall. It was covered in massive holes and had a large hole in its chest._

"_ASUKA!"_

_She stared at him with scared, pitying eyes full of love and sorrow. The expression she gave was unimaginably human, it brought a paralyzing wave of emotion over him. It seemed almost as if she had known this would come. _

"_Don't…hurry…and get away…Shinji…it's dangerous."_

_Asuka shook her head once. _

"_Shinji…don't…forget…I…"_

_And then she and the 19th Messenger were gone, leaving Shinji Ikari broken apart physically and mentally on an empty city street._

_Sirens in the distance, but it did not matter. Shinji Ikari swore he would never speak again, he could never function again, he could not exist as 'Shinji Ikari' without the being known as 'Asuka Langley Sohryu'. That was unthinkable._

"Not…this…not…this…notthis…notthisnotthisnotthisnotthisNOTTHIS!"

The Shinigami gasped as Shinji ran himself straight through the chest on her sword without hesitation, staring at her with trembling and intensely pained eyes that terrified her.

She stared at him as his blood ran down the sword, both of them trembling.

"It's…not Shinigami…It is 'Kuchiki Rukia'."

Shinji gasped, letting the blade sink deeper through his chest as he spoke a whispered and obviously pained reply.

"I…am…Shinji Ikari…Let us hope…this is not the last greeting…for both of us…"

The massive Angel or beast or Hollow, whatever one would call it, let out a terrifying screech from its Gendo face, as if annoyed that it had been forgotten in all this ensuing drama and madness.

Letting out one final snort of enraged breath, it reared down and charged straight towards Rukia and Shinji, ready to mash both into the pavement.

* * *

**Unknown Location**

The black columns loomed over the smoky emptiness of time and space, this was hell, this was Hueco Mundo, this was where those who were damned were sent. Sent to become the Hollows, or "Angels" as humanity ironically named them in the wars they fought against them.

The columns began to slowly flash, numbers gleaming on each of them as voices issued all around.

"The young Ikari…he has awakened, yes?"

"Indeed, it is quite good, I must say."

"Make Aizen aware of this immediately, as well as the former Commander Ikari."

"Yes, it would interest them much before the final plan is initiated. Especially with the remaining few Hollows that took the form of Gendo. This young Ikari could be amusing."

"Or a block in our plans…is it wise to take him lightly? He seems to know at least something of the Second Child's fate?"

"He is a fool. Let them play in the mortal world, it makes no difference."

* * *

**Tokyo 3, Japan**

**Streets of Tokyo 3**

The soul of the beast was cool and calculating despite the massive shrieks it let out. A portion of the soul of Gendo Ikari, diluted perhaps, in Hueco Mundo. One cannot imagine what true purposes Instrumentality served, though one assumes they will be revealed.

As the shrieks of the beast he controlled shook the earth, this Gendo Ikari only laughed in sheer amusement, his cold analytical self overwhelmed by sadistic glee.

_Hmmmm…He is useless as ever, yes! Whining over his lost loves and foolishness. He was always a weakness, always a blight on the Ikari name. Time to take his spirit energy for myself! This will be delici-_

The beast blinked, and suddenly, its other arm was gone, sliced cleanly to the ground.

_WHAT?! IMPOSSIBLE!_

* * *

**Tokyo 3, Japan**

**Streets of Tokyo 3**

Shinji Ikari smirked silently, standing behind the enraged and now armless Angel.

He stared resolutely at the mutated and mongrelized form of his father, his eyes intense yet determined. He was clad in flowing black robes much like Kuchiki Rukia's, and at his back he held a massive sword. It seemed much like a zanbatou, a long massive blade larger than Shinji itself anchored on a stiff and strong handle.

Rukia gasped, muttering to herself as she clutched her wounded body, staring at this new Shinji Ikari in a mix of awe and fear.

"How…could…It was only supposed to be half, but all my power was taken! Furthermore…this feeling…an immense energy…blocking out my senses…what is this?!"

Shinji Ikari snarled, rushing straight at the bleeding beast, Rukia still staring in disbelief.

"I…have never seen a human that could see Shinigamis…I have never seen a human defeat a Hollow…I have never seen a zanpaktou which responds to an individual's spirit power like this…His sword is massive!"

The beast flinched, letting out a massive shriek as its attempt to leap upon Ikari were cut off quite literally along with its right leg.

Shinji landed a few feet behind the beast, his blade dripping blood as the beast's right leg toppled down next to him.

"THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE! YOU ARE THE USELESS THIRD CHILD! THIS SPIRIT ENERGY IS IMPOSSIBLE! THIS LEVEL OF SKILL IS IMPOSS-"

The beast let out a choking groan as it was rendered in two by a quick slash of Shinji's sword, the former Third Child landing a few feet behind the beast as it fell into two pieces.

All around Shinji could feel a blazing aura, keeping him safe, keeping him strong. It seemed obvious to him that no one else could see it or feel it. This was his special love. It was in the form of _her_, her all around him! He could see her in the air, in the buildings, in life, in his words, in the space and time around him.

"IMPOSSIBLE…"

"Love makes all things possible."

Shinji turned away from the dying beast as it collapsed in a spurt of blood, shaking his head with resolute eyes and fists clenched, the massive zanpaktou sword balanced casually on his shoulder.

_Asuka…I will NOT forget._

* * *

**The Boy Who Doesn't Talk**

**The boy who doesn't talk**

**No words do appear**

**No simple tidings of foolishness do come to ear.**

**And he sits there waiting there, frankly frightening**

**They disturb his sleep, contrite and stupid**

**His ears plugged by music**

**His soul lies contrite and abused**

**His soul bare, do not use it**

**For inside him is a raging demon**

**Full of spite for the loved and the free men.**

**He cannot stand it anymore**

**Scorned upon by those whores**

**The boy who doesn't talk**

**The boy who doesn't find joy and love**

**And is comfortable with that**

**As long as he feels the numb**

**A boy who cannot find the kind**

**Or find meaning from above**

**Do hope, do hope, your actions do not wake him**

**For when he wakes, oh when he talks,**

**Oh when he opens that great maw**

**And when he is moved to strike or stun**

**It shall be either true venom**

**Or the will of something, supremely beautiful**

_**Copyright Sanbud Tehrani**_

* * *

Things will be getting very interesting… I hope this wasn't a stupid or confusing chapter for you guys, I tried to make things clear. And sorry if it was too short or something, but like I said, I'm just getting back in the flow and this was a good place to stop this chapter at.  


It'll be especially clearer if you're familiar with both Bleach and Evangelion, though you don't necessarily have to be that familiar with Bleach. It helps. 

Anyway, see you cats next chapter.


	5. Dead Eyes

Lately, I've been taking it slow…I know doing that tends to lose readers, but oh well…

I'll try to write some more, but sometimes writing fanfiction seems so useless…and sometimes I enjoy it.  
Anyway, I'll try to update Madness and my other fics when I can. 

As for some concerns about this story:

1.) Don't worry, you'll see all your favorite Bleach characters. Except probably Ichigo, since in this reality he never even meets Rukia.

2.) And no, I'm not making Shinji an Ichigo clone, you should know that by now personality-wise…just because his _zanpakutō_ happens to be similar doesn't mean a thing, they will develop drastically different paths and abilities. The only reason Shinji also has a massive _zanpakutō_ is because Shinji also happens to have a great spiritual presence. Pretty obvious that he would have one despite his melancholy.He's a very passionate fellow overall despite his apathy. 

3.) And no, I won't give up the secret on WHEN Asuka will come if she comes or blah blah blah people whining about wanting to see Asuka/ Shinji. Listen, I said this fic is going to be A/S, and it will be and already is. Just because every chapter isn't full of Asuka and Shinji making out doesn't change that. There's something needed called a plot.

And FYI, you don't need to be familiar with both animes to necessarily enjoy this fic, though it helps.

Also, I've been fiddling with formats...Italics are In Shinji's Head. Bold is Dialogue. And Underlined is either my beginning and end Author's Notes or the Location Titles at the beginning of each little part. It's all pretty self-explanatory I hope.

Everything elseActions, world, possible third person contemplation by Shinji.

Is it very difficult to read or understand? Give me some feedback. 

Here we go!

_Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion or its characters. Gainax does, and they rock. Who else could create both Evangelion and FLCL! I don't own any fictional Bleach properties either. What's the need for a disclaimer anyway? This is a freaking Fanfiction site!_

* * *

**Location Unknown**

The boy the world forgot…it didn't take long.

The broiling masses soon felt passing their genuine wishes of admiration.

You saved the world? Well shit happens buddy, get back to the end of the line.

The boy his blood forgot…father forsaken, mother murdered or sacrificed, family frankly nothing but a sadly familiar vice that gripped his heart.

But she…she had never forgotten him.

She was the lining around his grim life. She tasted of cherries and unflinching passion. His deep blue eyes had beckoned to her, along with their ties, their ties of misery. Misery may love company, but company eventually eradicates that melancholy.

Two hands wrapped against each other halted one hand cutting its own body in hurt. It was a fact.

The young woman knew not where she was…or in fact what she was…and how she was.

She thought, and therefore she existed, supposedly.

But how could SHE know that?

Or know why these thoughts of that boy plagued her mind…and the past they once had.

Voices…effervescent…effortlessly streaming into her ears…

No, one voice. Male. Not…

Not the boy…she had never forgotten him.

This one…was someone else.

SomeTHING else? The voice spoke so clearly:

"**Since the beginning, no one has ever stood in the heavens. Neither you, nor I, nor even God himself. But that emptiness in the Throne of Heaven shall be filled. Soon that will change... I will be the one to stand in the heavens."**

A pause.

**"And you will be my stairway there..." **

* * *

**Location Unknown**

Darkness. Misery.

Tears ran down Shinji's face as he teetered and shivered on his hands and knees. What had happened? Where was he?

The only fact of significance he was aware of was Asuka being gone. Like she had been gone for the last few years…He descended into a comfortable bliss of the abyss, a terrible silent madness that had kept him away from the outside world for years upon years.

He just couldn't handle her being…no she wasn't dead. He'd never accept that, never forget what he'd seen.

"**Hell, I always knew you were a crybaby, Shinji Ikari…"**

Shinji rose, staring in disbelief and near hysteria at the visage of Asuka Langley Sohryu standing before him, haughty and beautiful as always.

However this was the Asuka of the Evangelion years, the strident and abusive Asuka, the troubled and confused Asuka, the one he had fallen in love with. The one who would eventually learn to become a far different Asuka, true to herself, one that loved Shinji Ikari and their child.

His child! His child! Hadn't Shinji run away from his son as well?

My god, he realized something horrific now…He had run when his son's mother had disappeared…or died…or…he couldn't accept it.

He rubbed his chin, expecting to feel the beard of Gendo Ikari on his face.

What had he done? What was he becoming?

He stared up at Asuka, realizing he hadn't replied.

No matter, she was a mad hallucination, she had to be.

"**Cat got your tongue, Third Child? You seem weak. How do you ever expect to protect the ones you love in the state you're in? You're pathetic!"**

Shinji trembled, shouting back in reply.

"**Who're you? What are you? Asuka?"**

"**I am the Asuka in your mind…in your soul…You love me and all Asukas, though I don't know why some of them happen to love you back. What a joke!"**

Suddenly he remembered, he could feel the zanpaktou heavy on his back, the feel of the fight, the curve of the blade…and Asuka…he felt Asuka…he saw Asuka. She encompassed him.

"**What are you talking about Asuka? What happened to you? What is this?"**

She sighed, shaking her head and turning away, back into the abyss.

"**You can't find me yet…but…I think you'll have to soon enough…"**

She paused, speaking once more sentence before Shinji descended into complete darkness.

"**You'll need strength to save her…I don't know why she loves you…but you'll find no sympathy from me, Shinji! Not until you realize your own strength and take hold of it! Until then, your other half will always control you…down beneath."**

* * *

**Tokyo 3, Japan**

**Touji Suzuhara's House**

Shinji?! Shinji?!

He could hear her voice shouting for him…where…why.

Shinji awoke in a mad sweat, his wide eyes alighting upon Misato Katsuragi, the older woman standing above him with nervous eyes.

He hade seen Asuka…heard her words…but she'd spoken cryptically and for some reason, she was 14 again! Bizarre.

A dream. It had to have been. More like a nightmare.

"**Shinji!? Shinji?! Wake up please!"**

He was in bed…someone's bedroom…naked under the sheets as well, which rather embarrassed and confused him.

At his side Misato was glancing at him nervously, talking, but he couldn't really concentrate on her hurried words.

He remembered now…the battle with…that creature…his father…those things…THEY took her away…did they not?

The woman Rukia…and Misato bruised and flung about…

Finally he spoke, a rather odd greeting to Misato's poor ears.

"**Misato...What about your injuries?"**

Misato arched a confused eyebrow.

"**Injuries? What do you mean Shinji? You've been acting weird since I found you…a gas explosion blew up the hospital when I was about to come visit…no one else inside it survived but you, and I took you home…You were muttering then, to me…and again right now in your sleep…It's been so long since I've heard your voice Shinji…"**

"**What?"**

Suddenly Touji stepped into the room, which was evidently a guess bedroom in the Suzuhara household.

"**Yep, and now you're here Shinji, you're welcome…you don't know how crazy it is to see you talking again, to see you breathing normally, acting normally…ever since she…you know…Once I wake up Kaworu he'll be so surprised I have to-"**

The mention of Shinji's estranged son sent a sharp pain in his face, as if he had been stabbed.

_My son…he's…probably around the age when I was when…father left me…can I prove to be a good father NOW? Can I prove to be anything of use? Or is the Ikari blood too strong in me?_

Hikari stepped in as well, shushing him as she glancing worryingly at Shinji lying in bed.

"**Not now Touji…Shinji needs his rest, you know that…"**

"**Yeah…you're right…Sorry..."**

The couple nodded kindly to Misato and then left the room while Misato remained at Shinji's side, sighing slowly.

Shinji eyed her carefully, still rather confused.

No injuries? And she hadn't even mentioned the creature…the Hollow…the Angel…whatever one wished to call such a monstrosity. How could she not remember? Madness. He hadn't imagined it

Misato's lips parted and she slowly spoke.

"**You know…Shinji…I…understand what you went through…what happened…the denial…the madness…when I lost Kaji, it was the same…but you fell and fell hard…you were…mentally gone…for far too long. You have a son to care for now, Asuka would have wanted you to survive…to take care of your son!"**

_When you lost Kaji I wasn't there for you…that's the difference…and that…_

"…**Asuka never died…"**

Misato stared at him with grief, overwhelmed by her emotions. She knew not if she should embrace the young man for his sentimental madness and denial or strike at him for being so obstinately insane and reckless.

She could only let out a slow sigh as she rose to leave Shinji to his rest.

"**I…don't know what I can do to help you, Shinji…but if you need anything, just call, I'll be sleeping over in the other guest room…And I mean this in general…talk to me…call me…we need to talk…"**

She paused before she left the room, continuing.

"**I love you Shinji, you know that, we love you, she loved you…you need to keep yourself stable and together at least now that you're back…your son needs you…we need you."**

And with that she was gone, closing the door of the bedroom behind her as she left.

* * *

Shinji could only stiffen in the guest bed, stretching his aching muscles.

HE certainly could still feel what had happened…but everyone else, everything else seemed to be totally ignorant of it.

WAS he going insane? Had he imagined it all? What else could he have hallucinated? And for how long had this madness been going on for?

Since the day he had seen Rei…there…before he had actually met her? Since he saw Kaworu everywhere, the first Kaworu, all around?

Since he had seen a beast, a monstrous thing take his only love and care away?

No, if this was madness then he could not help it. He had to consider that there was some truth in his life or he wouldn't be able to handle it, insane or not.

He had to rely on what little reason he had left.

_What's going on? Misato's wounds were healed. And they think the damage to the hospital was some accidental explosion…Is this Shinigami style damage control? _

He felt a chill up his spine. If it was, they were as efficient as Section II. Some secretive divine organization…it was so terrible and bizarre. He could still see Rukia's face in his skull. SHE had been real. She had taken that wound and given her his powers. Powers?

Madness.

_Did that person…go back to her so-called home, Soul Society? Or did she simply disappear like all the other figments of my imagination? _

Right now, all he need was sleep! Sleep!

But he could hear voices entering his door from outside. Damn were they loud…and familiar…well it WAS Touji's house. But there was something else…

Touji speaking to someone…a female voice talking to Touji…it wasn't Hikari…or Misato.

"**-Yeah…he woke up from it after the explosion supposedly…"**

"**Oh, and is he stable, physically at least?"**

"**Yeah, I guess…so you're really a relative of Asuka's? You know, we never saw anyone from her side come to the wedding, and she never talked about her family…"**

"**Yes…indeed I am…**

"**I can see the Japanese in you, definitely, just like Asuka. Yeah, I can tell by the way you speak Japanese, though you speak quite well for having learned it outside the country."**

"**Indeed…Thank you."**

"**Though I still can't believe you're her **_**SISTER**_**! I mean, what're the odds? And why'd you just show up today? What about Kaworu? What about **_**Asuka's funeral**_**? What about-"**

Hikari spoke up.

"**Touji, **_**stop **_**being so rude…what's important is that she's here today and she's worried about Shinji and Asuka's family and friends here."**

The strange female replied.

"**Thank you…do you think I may see him?"**

"**Well, he's probably sleeping…but I'm sure it's alright…he's in the bedroom, right over there."**

Shinji stiffened in bed, suddenly terrified out of his mind as he realized the owner of that strange female voice was strolling right towards the room he was in…If it was…that voice? Who was she? Asuka never had any relatives she'd ever spoken about. Except her parents, and there was a long troubled history there, obviously.

He nearly shit himself when Rukia Kuchiki strode into his bedroom, dressed in a normal shirt and short skirt, looking relatively normal for being the mad warrior in black he had supposedly glimpsed.

_Unless I imagined it with her face…but then…maybe I saw a family photo and didn't know who she was and it went into my subconscious? But Asuka never had anything about her family…this…is…_

Rukia smiled pleasantly at Shinji, standing by his bedside and speaking in rather awkward Japanese.

"**Pleased to meet you, Shinji Ikari! I am Rukia, Rukia Langley Sohryu!"**

_Bullshit!_

"**Bullshit! What the hell are you-you're the one from-"**

Suddenly her delicate hand was held up in front of his face, shushing him. On her palm was written "Say something and I kill you." in black marker.

A shiver went up Shinji's spine as he looked into her pretty but fierce eyes. She definitely meant it and the fake friendliness in her voice was a telltale sign. But how in the hell had she found out about Asuka…or where he lived…or…what the hell? Why didn't Misato remember anything?

He definitely couldn't trust this woman, he couldn't even comprehend what she was capable of, but according to his mad memories she had supposedly saved his life and Misato's.

Unless she'd manipulated his mind to make him think that.

Enough, he couldn't dwell on this madness for very long.

Deep breaths.

"**Ok Shinji? Nice to finally meet you!"**

At least he knew he wasn't insane.

Yet.

* * *

**Dead Eyes**  
**Dead eyes, what have you seen? That make your long eyelashes  
With amber dewdrops sheen?  
So numb and lifeless, I suppose  
A soul far past its simple death throes  
Cold and distant, so full of hate  
If one could only love  
And satiate  
That gray thirst  
That far off love  
Of those dead eyes as they stare off above  
Into Capricorn and Ganymede  
And death and hell and other things  
The eyes, they close, the heart, it sinks  
The mirror image blinks.**

_**Copyright Sanbud Tehrani**_

* * *

Short chapter? If so, I apologize:

A.) I thought it'd be good to end there. 

B.) Don't worry, the next chapter will be quick. While I can't guarantee I'll get to updating all my fics quickly, I already have the next few chapters of THIS particular fanfic planned out and I'll probably update a few chapters for this fanfic this week, hopefully.


	6. Demon

Well, here's the next chapter ladies and germs…I wrote it almost immediately after the last chapter, my fastest update yet…

So there's still hope of me being a faithful updater of this fic and all my other fics, I'm in a writing mood. No need to fret, fellows.

I'm vaguely disappointed though, lately my updates haven't been garnering many views or reviews. I remember usually for my fanfics I'd at least get six or seven a chapter, but it's down to one or two...I don't really know why, maybe there are less people around...oh well... 

Anyway, hope this chapter isn't too much…enjoy it.

Here we go.

_Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion or its characters. Gainax does, and they rock. Who else could create both Evangelion and FLCL! I don't own any fictional Bleach properties either. What's the need for a disclaimer anyway? This is a freaking Fanfiction site!_

* * *

**Tokyo 3**

**Public Square**

"**Leading me to such an empty place…what dost thou intend of me?"**

Shinji sighed, trying to collect his energies.

"**Stop speaking in that weird way!"**

Shinji pulled the young woman around the corner into the side alleyway, his eyes fierce but tired. He didn't understand this interruption in his life, why he had been awoken…what had happened to Asuka…what he could do for his son…if the monsters in his head were real…if these things were the Angels he had fought before.

He was practically debilitated with his confusion and fatigue, but his eyes still had a bit of resistance in them. Asuka had given him that.

He'd excused himself from Touji's guest bed and room for a brief moment, saying he had to discuss something important with Asuka's "sister", despite the fact that his friends all urged him to rest.

No, he wouldn't involve them in this matter, whatever it was.

"**Weird way? Is it not good for someone who just learned the language in one day?"**

Shinji sighed.

"**Just…just…leave me alone, okay? What do you **_**want**_** from me? Why are you here?"**

"**Hmmm?"**

"**Explain yourself, for the love of god!"**

"**Explain?"**

Shinji wiped the sweat from his brow, feeling lightheaded; perhaps he should've stayed in bed. But he continued speaking, his tone wavering only slightly.

"**Yes…like isn't this over? If it was real…that battle…well, it ended, alright? I still feel the bruises. Why in the hell are you still here then, digging up her…digging up her…her name…you went too far! Didn't…didn't you go back to that Soul Society place you talked about?!"**

Rukia sighed, glancing away in consternation.

"**You fool! Only Shinigami can return to Soul Society, only full agents of death…Right now, I am not able to return there."**

"**Huh…what why?"**

She squared up in front of him after stepping closer so he could see her delicate skin and terribly fierce eyes.

"**Because I lost my Shinigami powers, you idiot!"**

"**What?! You mean what happened was real?"**

"**What did you think it was a dream? Hah! Idiot!"**

Shinji sighed in frustration, gripping his t-shirt by the neck.

"**But I'm no longer a Shinigami! Do you **_**see**_** a kimono? Where are these so-called powers you think you lost?"**

She stared at him patronizingly, pressing her index finger roughly against his chest.

"_**Inside**_** of you. It's not your 'body', it's your 'soul' that has become a Shinigami…you have an unusual amount of spirit energy for a human, it was surprising you lived at all. Be thankful!"**

He only grunted, looking away.

_Thankful for what? I was happy there…in the darkness…at least I didn't think about HER…I can feel her missing now that I'm out of the abyss…like…the sensation of a limb long amputated…_

Rukia meanwhile was continuing, stubbornly.

"**Anyway! Last night I almost had ALL of my powers taken away by **_**you**_**! I have but barely any abilities left, I was even forced to enter this artificial body."**

She spoke, jabbing her thumb into her chest.

Shinji stared at her as if she were a new Angel, bizarre and terrifyingly weird.

"**Um…artificial?"**

She nodded with a bit of pride evident in her tone as she spoke.

"**It is we Shinigami's other body, this artificial form, to be used in emergency situations. A weakened Shinigami enters it to wait for his powers to recover."**

"**So…you mean you're in a kind of human form now?"**

"**Yes…weakened Shinigami are targets for Hollows, for those beasts you dueled…I believe you termed them 'Angels'. How foolish. I must act human so that I do not become a target."**

Shinji stiffened.

_So…that's why everyone can see her...enough of this stupidity…I don't have time for her…_

He ignored the Gendo-like insensitivity, speaking coldly as his eyes centered on her pursed lips and then her pale forehead.

"**So? What does this weakened Shinigami want with me? It is not my responsibility."**

"**That's just it…It **_**is**_** your responsibility, you bastard! Until my powers return, you must take over my Shinigami duties!"**

Shinji stared at her with widened eyes of disbelief, stammering angrily.

"**Wha?!"**

"**But of course, you're the only one that has Shinigami powers out of us two now…I will assist you, of course. Also, you have no right to refuse since you were…"**

Shinji clenched his fists, repeating a furious old mantra in his head that had never left him.

_Center target…pull the switch…_

"**No! No! I-I…don't know who put the idea in your head, but I'm not some grand protector of the people. Those years were…ages ago…and look where I am now, look at the hand the world dealt me in return. Look at my father's grave, my mother's grave…my…wife…my…"**

Shinji bit his lip, trying to hold back angry tears.

"**I refuse! I can barely keep myself together, I have a son…I had…a love."**

She stared at him, clenching her fists as her face heated up in anger.

"**What?! Wait…you…yesterday you…"**

"**Yesterday I was only able to fight because Misato was in danger. I'm not fighting for strangers anymore, or even for humanity's sake. I can barely hold myself together and try to protect the ones around me that I love. I'm not the kind of person you're looking for. I'm not a hero…You're mad!"**

"**You're refusing?!"**

"**I said I refuse…I'm not fighting other people's wars ever again, even if the fate of the world depends on it! Look at this world I saved, why save it again? What has it done but swallowed up every last bit of my soul?! You speak of my high 'spiritual presence', but you are mistaken…I left behind the spirit I had when **_**she**_** departed from my life."**

Rukia sighed, whispering as if to herself.

"_**If**_** she's departed…there is more to death than you can understand."**

Shinji's eyes widened, apparently having caught Rukia's words. He slammed forward and gripped her wildly by the shoulders.  
Rukia's eyes widened as she glimpsed a whirling spiritual energy rising in Shinji as he grabbed her and screamed like a madman. In the corner of his eyes she could see a dark flowing shadow that swirled and then disappeared.

"**WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!? Do you know something about Asuka?! TELL ME! TELL ME YOU BITCH! I'll…I'll kill you if you don't-"**

Rukia gasped, feeling an abnormal physical strength in Shinji overwhelming her, she felt as if her eyes were about to roll in the back of her head from the pain as he tore into her shoulders with his grip and shook her about like a madman barking for answers.

"**You're…hurting me…Shinji…I see…I have no choice."**

From within her blouse she whipped out her hand, which was now donned in an odd black glove with a skull on the back of it.

"**GIVE HER BACK TO ME GIVE HER BACK TO ME I'LL KILL YOU TELL-."**

She slammed the gloved hand into his chest in one clean sweep and it actually went through him, though ethereal. With the swing of her hand came hurtling another Shinji, in the black kimono of the Shinigami.

The other Shinji toppled to the floor while the one dressed as a Shinigami stumbled backwards, yelping in surprise and fear.

"**What…what is this?! My soul…is that my body over there?! Why isn't it moving?!"**

She nodded grimly.

"**I had no choice Shinji, this glove can separate your body and soul easily, the Shinigami from the body. No one will be able to see you in that form, though at the same time your body will be a soulless husk until you reenter it."**

"**This…this can't be…"**

Shinji rose, feeling the black fabric now covering him and then the massive sword that was strapped to his back. It felt lighter than last time, but looked quite large.

He was too overcome by confusion and surprise once more, debilitated, so that he ended up staring at Rukia like a lost child.

Rukia only nodded placidly, beckoning Shinji with a gesture.

"**Follow me…"**

* * *

**Tokyo 3**

**Ibuki Electronics**

She led him down the street, plodding slowly in the darkness of the night until they came to a small storefront reading "Ibuki Electronics". Inside the lighted windows of the store were numerous computers. Only two people appeared to be inside the store, a short haired woman of brown hair behind the counter and a rather chubby young man browsing the aisles.

Shinji stiffened as he realized where he was.

"**Why…what are we doing here?"**

"**Do you know the woman in there? Don't worry; no one can see you…almost."**

Shinji sighed.

"**Almost?! Of course I know her…that's…that's Maya…she opened a store after the war…I heard she was crushed by Ritsuko's death."**

She smirked patronizingly.

"**And the fellow inside?"**

"**Err…a customer? I don't know…Can we go home so I can get some rest already?"**

"**Customer? No…he is not of the living…that is a ghost, Shinji Ikari. A dead soul, and you can see him, as a Shinigami who must deliver and protect such souls. Maya cannot."**

Shinji sighed, shrugging.

"**So, you're saying she's got a ghost in there? Why'd you bring me here again?"**

"**Is she your friend, Shinji Ikari?"**

"**Uh…well…I guess…we never really talked during the war…"**

Rukia only stiffened, pulling a small cell phone out of her pocket and jabbing it in Shinji's direction.

"**What about **_**that**_**?"**

"**What? What's this?"**

He glanced at the cell phone, already feeling overwhelmed with boredom and fatigue.

"It is an order from Soul Society. It means, within fifteen minutes of 10, in the 20-meter vicinity of Ibuki Electronics, a Hollow will appear."

She paused, stepping close enough to Shinji so that she could look him fiercely in the eyes, her breath washing against his trembling face.

"**Most likely, the Hollow is looking to attack that spirit…And your friend…she has a significant spiritual presence for a human."**

Shinji's eyes widened as he was driven back to the few times he remembered Maya, one of the technicians up there, always trying their best to keep him alive in that giant puppet of death.

Suddenly, a terrible scream ripped through the vicinity, coming from the back of the store.

Shinji stared inside.  
Maya was gone…and so was the other fellow.

Maya however came into view slowly, apparently walking down the street towards a nearby bar after closing shop. The scream…it was male.

The young male spirit gasped as he sped as quickly as he could around the corner, not even noticing Shinji as the massive beast that was the predatory Hollow gave chase.

It was large, spider-like, reminding Shinji chillingly of the terrible Ninth Angel, and it was at least twice the size of the small electronics shop it was crashing about next to.

Shinji reached for the handle of his sword as he glimpsed the fleeing young man barely avoiding the beast's massive legs.

"**WAIT!"**

He glanced back, stopping his motion at Rukia's shout to see her staring at him darkly with her arms folded.

"**You're going to help him? Isn't he a stranger? Maya seems safe."**

"**Wha-what're you talking about!? How can I not help someone that's right in front of me?!"**

"**Whether in front of you…like Asuka…or far away…or a stranger…or a friend…it doesn't change the fact that someone is being attacked."**

Shinji grimaced as the young man tripped and fell, the massive spider-like creature towering over it broodingly.

"**DON'T HELP HIM THEN!"**

"**Wha!?"**

"**Even if you save this guy, nothing will matter if you don't devote yourself to becoming a Shinigami. Saving him because he's right in front of you? Don't be naïve. If you can't save and care him or others that need your help that you may not PERSONALLY know, you can't hope to ever protect the ones you love. Mr. Apathy…Mr. Hero!"**

Shinji clenched his fists.

"**You go on and on about your pains, but isn't that self-centered? A Shinigami has to treat all spirits equally, all beings…You cannot just conveniently save those within arm's reach or those who you're lovvy duvvy with! Isn't that conceited? Don't save this fellow with that half-hearted kindness, that self-centered sense of martyr-hero…If you want to save him now, you must accept that you have to save all spirits and all beings within your power! To go anywhere for them…to even give your life to save them, to make that kind of commitment."**

She paused, and he mumbled to himself, trembling slightly.

"**I am…a…"**

"**Like you would for Asuka…this may be no different than what became of her, it is not uncommon at all! I DO know a great deal about death and human beings, and I may not understand the situation with this 'Asuka' completely, but I can try to get you as many answers as possible…if you are a fellow Shinigami, that is. One cannot release such information to simple HUMANS."**

Shinji Ikari hurtled forward, sprinting as he drew the massive blade at his back.

The beast let out a bellowing inhuman voice, charging forward.

"**WHAT ARE YOU?!"**

"**I am…a Shinigami."**

As that last word left Shinji's mouth, the beast's maw emitted a scream, one of its legs cleaved straight off from a breeze-like swing of Shinji's sword. The Shinigami was surrounded in an unbearably high spiritual force that swirled around him as he moved, giving his actions an ethereal grace despite the cruel demon blood he shed.

With another strike, the creature was cleaved directly in half, its dying rattle shaking the buildings around them.

"**VENGEANCE…TABRIS!"**

Then it fell over in a terrible stream of noxious fluids and blood, totally sliced as Rukia watched in disbelief.

"**Shinji…you…you've accepted the responsibility of-"**

He turned and stared at her with fierce eyes that made her stumble backwards in fear. There was a terrible trembling spiritual power all around him that made his eyes look like two swirling suns framed by the sky of his skin.

"**SHUT UP! ENOUGH OF YOUR LECTURES! What can you understand of my life, of what it means to have the fate of the world slammed on your shoulder…of what it means to have the embodiment of your human feeling taken away before your **_**eyes**_**! No, I'm not accepting anything. I saved him because I wanted to save him. Is that wrong?"**

"**Wha?!"**

"**Are you any different? Or do the proud Shinigami lack human emotions and frailty? You sacrificed yourself to save Misato and I that time…At that time were you thinking about bullshit like duty and responsibility and equality? That's not what sacrificing yourself IS! I **_**KNOW**_**! I sacrificed my mind for this fledgling world. At the very least…"**

He slammed his blade down into the dead Angel's skull, where its core lay behind its mask, supposedly, forcing it into one terrible last shriek as it exploded and spilled dust and body parts around Shinji.

"**At the very least…I'm different. I am Shinji Ikari, NOT the Third Child, and NOT a dutiful Shinigami warrior." **

He turned to look at her, sheathing the blade back behind his back.

"**I haven't accepted any commitment, any change…Asuka Langley Sohryu freed me from the shackles that held Shinji Ikari…and I can…I can FEEL her…she will keep me free of these labels and madness. If things get bad, I might run away…No, chanting 'I mustn't run away'. I'm not that type of person anymore, I'm not willing to sacrifice myself for total strangers, to let them take advantage of my blood and pain as they did in the Angel Wars. BUT…"**

He paused, breathing deep breaths and staring at Rukia as the din and spiritual energy around him began to calm.

"**But…unfortunately, she did not leave me to be the type of person that can live happily without paying back his debts…I'll help you with this Shinigami task, this burden, but only because of your sacrifice, because of your actions. I won't be weighted with the salvation of the world again…not anymore. This isn't some dramatic Shounen novel for godsakes. I'm only human!"**

"**Wait…Shinji…"**

"**What?! Another lecture?!"**

"**No, you imbecile…didn't we leave your body lying around in the street?"**

"**Oh crap…No one better be messing with it!"**

"**Knowing the Japanese, I would run as quickly as possible, Shinji."**

"**Hey! Racist!"**

* * *

**Omake**

Maya hadn't been expecting the gift from God, but it had come, delivered right outside her store, a Shinji Ikari love doll.

She giggled, slowly kicking the Shinji in the ribs and rolling him around. He was limp as a doll, this was crazy.

Obviously there was only one thing she could do when faced with a limp Shinji Ikari sprawled outside her door.

She acted quickly, pulling out her cell phone and pressing speed dial. Hopefully they'd respond in time!

"**Misato-kun…get my tools…oh, and some lubricant…I've got a surpriiiise for you!"**

She looked down at Shinji's body, smiling bewitchingly as she nudged his soulless body in the leg.

"**I hope you have some blood flow going on in there, Shinji-doll…Ritsuko-sempai taught me a lot about tough love…really really tough love."**

* * *

**Demon**

**Rhyming out loud  
What's the point?  
Can't act like I'm proud  
With my driftwood resolve  
And shattered foot  
I stumble forward, dreamily  
Through life and things  
That plague me true  
What's the point in looking up  
When all you can think of  
Is falling down?  
How can I continue  
Without this frown?  
Verily I say  
That my misery is foolishness  
My very nightmares self-imposed  
I'm a stranger in my heart  
And there's a demon in my clothes**

_**Copyright Sanbud Tehrani**_

* * *

Hope you enjoyed the chapter…hope it wasn't too like, long or boring…

I have a lot planned for Shinji, he's a far different fellow than Ichigo, and as you can see, Rukia's a bit different than the one Ichigo encounters simply because she's responding to a different individual in this scenario.

Really this is going to be a long, fun story I hope, with plenty of madness, action, and maybe some AsukaxShinji love. Cross your fingers and hope she's not a corpse (Because necrophilia isn't in this story…unless it's an Omake. Uh oh.)

That's actually the first Omake I've ever written actually, just seemed like the amusingly obvious result of Shinji just leaving his body around willy nilly.


	7. Evil

Well, here's the next chapter…I've been busy with my Bleach fanfiction and Evangelion fanfiction, so I guess I haven't been giving my Bleach/Eva crossover enough attention.

Don't fret though, further updates should be faster…

I'm slowly planning and speeding up this story…expect cool stuff, and don't worry, I'm not just taking Bleach and copy and pasting…It's going to significantly diverge in many many points. It should be obvious by now that Shinji Ikari is far different from Ichigo Kurosaki.

As I said before, I'm vaguely disappointed though, lately my updates haven't been garnering many views or reviews. I remember usually for my fanfics I'd at least get six or seven a chapter, but it's down to one or two...I don't really know why, maybe there are less people around...oh well... 

Anyway, hope this chapter is entertaining…alright…

Here we go.

_Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion or its characters. Gainax does, and they rock. Who else could create both Evangelion and FLCL! I don't own any fictional Bleach properties either. What's the need for a disclaimer anyway? This is a freaking Fanfiction site!_

* * *

**Tokyo 3, Japan**

Misato slowly made her way down the street, memories of darkness and misery plaguing her with every step.

Lately…she had been dreaming…or perhaps they could be called nightmares…All about _him._

It was enough to worry about Shinji Ikari, as the young man had frequently shown erratic behavior after his awakening from the coma. He still muttered madness about Asuka, frequently went out alone at night, and still had a detached relationship at best with his young son Kaworu who was just learning to talk.

But no, her nightmares had been about a more…distant man who plagued her…deep into her scarred past.

Engrossed in these thoughts, Misato barely managed to dodge the speeding jeep that nearly ran her down. It honked as it sped away and as she gave the retreating vehicle the middle finger and cursed, slowly bringing herself back up.

In front of her…about twenty feet away…in the dim darkness…she froze and stared.

A grim human silhouette in the distance. She stared up at it and for a second she thought she could see handsome features, unshaved cheeks, that confident smirk and ponytail.

_Maintain…Misato…Maintain…you can't be going crazy right now, not when Shinji needs you so much._

Misato shivered, shaking her head as she continued her way.

* * *

**Tokyo 3**

**Shinji Ikari's Apartment**

Shinji sighed, having settled down in his old apartment. Kaworu was still…over at Touji's…

Shinji was still having apprehensive feelings about his son…about his responsibility…

He often felt his thoughts absorbed with Asuka, on getting her back…on Rukia and how that tricky Shinigami had said that she might know some things.

Asuka…Asuka…Asuka…if he didn't watch himself, more obsessed with the mother of the son rather than the son, he'd become his father.

That thought shook him at his very core.

"**I know sister…everything is hidden in this antique box, right? In this jade box passed down from our mother!"**

And...his thoughts of…

"**Give me the box, Sister Marianne! No! We musn't open the box Francoise! No don't! Don't open it!"**

AND HIS THOUGHTS OF…

"**Goddamit, do you have to read that out loud?! Why the hell are you in my apartment anyway?!"**

"**KYAAAAH!"**

Rukia screamed in fright, surprised by Shinji's sudden intervention, having assumed he had fallen asleep on his bunk as she read the spooky horror manga she had found.

Rukia sped backwards, breathing heavily as she tried to get her wits back from the fright.

"**Y-Y-You fool! Don't surprise me, I'm studying modern speech!"**

Shinji Ikari laughed. It had been the first time he had laughed heartedly in a long while.

"**Huh? Studying modern speech? **_**With that book?**_** I'm trying to go to sleep and you're messing around with a horror manga? Where'd you even get that?"**

"**Hmm…awake are you? Then we can do some training?"**

"**Training? God…I'd almost forgotten you were still here…I'd almost had a bit of peace…"**

"**Hurry up then…you won't be getting anywhere without your training…You want to help people don't you? Or at least find…**_**her**_**?"**

Shinji stiffened, nodding slowly, his face suddenly grave.

"**You play that card a lot…but fine…let's go…"**

They turned, leaving in unison from Shinji's once quiet abode.

* * *

**Tokyo 3**

**Public Square**

"**Right…so why am I smacking these balls with a baseball bat?! Balls filled with pepper? Not even Ritsuko made me do stuff this stupid!"**

"**Are you done smacking them?"**

Shinji sighed, responding in a rather whiney tone.

"**Sure…took care of all of them…those scary plastic balls…whooo…center target, pull the switch."**

"**Pepper-filled balls? Those were the bad ones you idiot!"**

"**Bad ones?"**

"**Yes!"**

Shinji rubbed his chin, staring silently at Rukia in the grim night. He was getting pretty bored and tired from all of this.

"**You didn't just hit all of them…did you Shinji?"**

"**Yeah…perfectly."**

Rukia's face twisted with rage.

"**You fool! How many times did I tell you to only hit the balls that had a picture of a head on them?! What do you think this training is for? Softball?"**

"**Shut up! I don't know what it's for, how am I supposed to know? Plus, how the hell am I supposed to know which ball has a picture of a head drawn on it anyway? You draw like a kindergartener!"**

* * *

Misato sighed, having slowly made her way down the street towards her house…when she heard chatter from the public park close by.

_At this time of night…it can't be good…_

She glanced around, finally spotting two figures wildly gesticulating at each other.

_Err…Shinji? And Asuka's sister? What're they going on about?_

Misato smiled, feeling a bit heartened at seeing Shinji active at least. She smirked, creeping up towards them.

* * *

"**Listen! A Hollow's weakness is its head; if you slice the head you can defeat it in one blow! That's where the core lays…"**

"**The core, hmmm…this is getting eerily nostalgic…"**

"**You could slay beasts with your massive machine, once upon a time, now all you need is your own power and your blade…This training **_**was**_** so you could accurately strike them in the head in any situation!"**

"**I…understand."**

Shinji clenched his fists, sweat collecting on his brow.

Rukia's face softened.

"**Don't be too disheartened, Shinji Ikari…you've done well before…Just keep in mind there is no code of conduct or chivalry when it comes to Hollows…They are mongrels, inhuman beasts, targets for destruction. Any and all techniques possible must be used to eradicate them."**

Shinji glanced away at the tree line for a moment, his eyes pensive as he heard her words.

"_Eliminate the target, Shinji!"_

"_I-I can't!"_

"_Kill him or you will be killed!"_

"_I'd rather…die than…kill my friend…"_

_ELIMINATE THE TARGET._

_CENTER TARGET. PULL THE SWITCH._

_ELIMINATE THE TARGET._

_CENTER TARGET. PULL THE SWITCH._

_ELIMINATE THE TARGET._

_How had he returned to this war?! _

_HEEEEEEY SHIN-CHAAAAN!_

"**Heeeey Shin-chan! Brooding about something?!"**

Shinji almost leapt ten feet in the air in surprise as Misato announced her presence not so gracefully right behind him.

"**Waaah!"**

He stumbled backwards, Rukia smirking in mild bemusement as she watched.

"**M-Misato? What're you doing here?"**

"**Heheh, just a little late night shopping…A better question is what you're doing here alone with Miss Soryu?"**

Shinji stiffened, and Misato regretted the playfully suggestive barb. This was Asuka's sister after all.

"**Just…walking I guess…"**

"**Oh…okay Shinji…"**

Rukia smiled, nodding politely at Misato, back to her polite relative act.

Shinji noted the sadness in Misato's eyes and cocked his head to the side, curious but mostly tired.

"**Are you okay, Misato?"**

"**Oh…yeah Shinji…just spacing out lately…no biggie…Guess I'm getting old huh?"**

Shinji shook his head emphatically.

"**No way you're getting old, you're still…umm…and everything…"**

Shinji blushed, making Misato smile slightly. It felt like the good old days, for a moment.

Though Misato quickly corrected herself…there was certainly nothing good about those days.

"**I guess…I'll be going Shinji…you two keep safe…"**

Shinji nodded slowly, feeling a somber sense of loss. Those days in Misato's apartment had gone and disappeared long ago. The Children were mangled, chewed up, and spit out by Life.

"**In a rush, Misato? Do you want us to walk you home?"**

"**Oh no…I'm fine Shinji…"**

Misato smiled, slowly walking away into the darkness.

When she was finally gone, Rukia turned to Shinji, her face clouded over with an expression he couldn't exactly read.

"**That…Misato…you two are close, huh?"**

Shinji blushed.

"**Um…I…she's like a mother…I guess…but at the same time, she's something else…Important, I guess…"**

"**Any family?"**

Shinji looked down morosely.

"**No…not that I know…I think I remember hearing her dad died in Second Impact…Kaji was the closest thing she ever had to family…He was the closest thing I ever had to a father-figure anyway…"**

"**Had?"**

"**Yeah…He died…a while ago…or more or less disappeared, but one night Misato came home in tears…I didn't go to her, didn't know what to do…Kaji's dead, alright…I remember that night, I was such a coward…Asuka was a mess too…I…I figure my dad probably did it…or someone in NERV…Kaji was a spy, after all, from what I heard…he taught me a lot though…"**

"_Shinji…never look away...find the truth, whatever it takes…and protect those around you…that's all that matters…"_

"_K-Kaji?"_

"_I've seen how you glance at Asuka sometimes…It's obvious…just…be gentle with her…be patient…she may have thorns, but there's a girl in there waiting to be loved and saved from her demons, just like the soul inside you is waiting to be loved and protected. Find solace in each other…"_

Shinji trembled, covering his face with his hands.

"**That's it…that's all…Why are you asking me though…Are you interested in Misato for some reason?"**

_I was never the man who could shield her from her demons, Kaji…now…now she's gone…she's gone…I was never good enough…no matter what she said…Asuka…_

Noting Shinji's increasing emotion, Rukia continued in a calming measured tone, shrugging.

"**Nope…not interested…just wondering."**

Shinji arched an eyebrow, rather annoyed.

"**What the hell kind of answer is that?"**

"**Sorry, were you drowning in your own emotion? Did you want something more dramatic?"**

"**Oh shut up!"**

"**Now! Let's go home, Shinji!"**

_Gah…always so damn domineering…sort of like…no…_

"**Home?! Huuhhh…you're already settled in, I guess…I won't be getting any sleep tonight…"**

* * *

**Tokyo 3**

**Shinji's Apartment**

_Presently it was morning, and he had gotten up to cook their breakfast and prepare their lunch as he often did. Inside himself he heard voices telling him to abandon the Second Child, to stop being so nice to her when she was so awful to him. Yet these voices were few and far between and always clouded by his fear, timidity, and guilt._

_As the rice began to steam, he turned around and gazed at Asuka's room._

_She still hadn't come out, it seemed. Misato had long left, early in the morning, as she had been forced to these days, because of the huge amount of work at NERV._

_Shinji nervously stepped towards Asuka's door, unsure of what to do. If they didn't leave soon, they would most certainly be late for school._

_The Third Child tentatively rapped his fist against the door of his roommate's room, and then slowly put his ear to the door, to listen in._

_He heard quiet sobbing mingled with choking noises and words he could not understand, perhaps in German._

_Shinji froze, unsure of what to do. He could confront the Second Child and attempt to comfort her, at the same time putting himself in great physical danger, or he could run away as he always did, leaving his problems behind._

_Shinji clenched his fist, leaving his other hand hanging to the side and began to whisper to himself._

_"No...I won't leave her, I've got to do something...I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away, I mustn't run-"_

"**SHINJI!"**

"**ASUKA!"**

Shinji sat up straight on his bed, gasping for air as he awoke from his sleep.

"**SHINJI!"**

"**W-What?!"**

Rukia stood dressed in her pajamas before him, her eyes wild but alert.

"**No time for dreaming! I just received an order from Soul Society!"**

"**Wha wha wha? Order? Meaning a Hollow will appear here?"**

"**The time and place are both…**_**HERE AND NOW**_**!"**

She rushed straight at him with her special glove, slamming into his forehead and sending his spirit out of his mortal body.

He landed backwards in spirit form in his black Shinigami robes just as a massive clawed fist slammed out of the ground into his bed.

"**Wha?!"**

The fist was followed by the rest of the beast, straight through the wall. It was very humanoid, a giant creature with clawed hands and feet, a red orb in the center of its chest, and a skull-like mask with long black hair coming out the back. It had to be like twenty times larger than Shinji.

Shinji leapt backwards as Rukia screamed.

"**GO FOR THE HEAD!"**

"**I KNOW!"**

Rushing forward without any hesitation, he felt himself encumbered by the same feelings he had often felt inside the Evangelion.

As if there was…_someone else alongside him…_

He felt a familiar presence, though it felt different from the one he had felt inside Eva. With a confident snarl that would be unheard of with normal Shinji, he slashed his sword down at the Hollow's face.

The Hollow screamed in rage and pain, falling backwards outside and away from Shinji's apartment, though Rukia shook her head.

"**Not deep enough, dammit!"**

"**He's getting away! We're going to have to go after him, Rukia!"**

* * *

**Tokyo 3, Japan**

Misato's legs teetered drunkenly as she made her way to her front door after a stop in to the local bar.

She shouldn't have…she knew…but…there were things missing in her life…things missing that she couldn't expect Shinji to give her.

The liquor satiated these urges, for now.

In the distance there was something, she blinked, coughing roughly.

A grim human silhouette in the distance. She stared up at it and for a second she thought she could see handsome features, unshaved cheeks, that confident smirk and ponytail.

_Maintain…don't go schizo yet Misato honey!_

* * *

**Tokyo 3**

**Shinji's Apartment**

"**Wait!"**

Rukia grabbed him firmly by the shoulder before he could chase the fleeing beast, looking him in the eyes with her concerned and rather big eyes. It had been the closest contact they'd had, and it made him feel awkward.

"**W-What is it Rukia?!"**

"**I have to tell you the truth…Shinji…this Hollow battle…it…well…I told you that sneaking up from behind and killing a Hollow was one of the basics of battle to prevent injury to yourself…But there's also one more important reason…"**

Shinji's eyes widened.

"**To kill them in one hit and avoid glimpsing the Hollow's identity! I told you, these are spirits of the dead! All of them are souls of former human beings! Glimpsing their true identity could stay your sword or put doubt in your fighting ability…You cannot hesitate!"**

"_Eliminate the target, Shinji!"_

"_I-I can't!"_

"_Kill him or you will be killed!"_

"_I'd rather…die than…kill my friend…"_

_ELIMINATE THE TARGET._

_CENTER TARGET. PULL THE SWITCH._

_ELIMINATE THE TARGET._

_CENTER TARGET. PULL THE SWITCH._

_ELIMINATE THE TARGET._

"**Cannot…hesitate…"**

"**Just now, you probably only cleaved open its mask…you didn't kill it or fully damage its core…Be careful, Shinji…"**

"**B-But they're evil monsters, aren't they?! Things that must be defeated!"**

_Kaworu stared at him with peaceful eyes as Shinji held him within the massive fist of the Evangelion._

"_It matters but little to me if I live or die, Shinji Ikari…Man does not realize that death is the only true liberation there is in this world. If you truly ever loved me, kill me…now."_

_KILLING AGAIN KILLING _

_CENTER TARGET. PULL THE SWITCH._

_CENTER TARGET. PULL THE SWITCH._

_CENTER TARGET. PULL THE SWITCH._

Rukia gasped as he spoke wildly, grabbing her by the shirt, trying to push him away and respond…

"**Y-Yes., yes Shinji…they're evil monsters…things that must be defeated…You've known this from the beginning. It's kill or be killed!"**

Shinji trembled, his eyes wild and confused.

"**Now? So then…killing…what have I been…Angels? Killing…how can I…Killing…Center target…"**

Rukia shoved him roughly into the wall, staring into his eyes with her own fierce blinking orbs.

"**THERE ISN'T ANY TIME TO START DEBATING THE MORALITY OF THIS, YOU PATHETIC IDIOT! IF YOU DON'T MOVE, THAT WOMAN YOU VALUE WILL DIE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!"**

"**W-Woman?"**

"**Misato…it's…I can sense it…it's heading towards Misato…"**

* * *

**Tokyo 3, Japan**

Misato blinked away the tears.

_I'm seeing things again, I guess…I need to calm down, maintain…It's this goddamn liquor…What's wrong with you Misato?! Maintain!_

She sighed, reaching for her front door knob.

Suddenly, something shook the ground around her, and her eyes widened.

"**W-What…was that?"**

_Maintain…_

* * *

**Evil**

**I am an evil man, can't you see?**

**I lie, I cheat, I steal, shamelessly**

**I lust, I sneer, I hate, I feel**

**The son of Loki, Iago's brother**

**Cold and cruel, Persephone's lover**

**All things looked down on from above**

**But most of all I scorn your love**

**Can't you see I'm in control?**

**So my sanity is a fable**

**Wait until I'm not myself**

**Then you will meet someone loving and stable. **

_**Copyright Sanbud Tehrani**_

* * *

Hope ya'll enjoyed that chapter…I do appreciate it when you guys review, it really revs up authors when you do that and gets them hyped for quickly updating.

I plan to update this soon though, maybe by Monday….Enjoy yourself and do check out my many other updated fanfics!

See you next chapter, soon I hope.


	8. Enough

Sorry for taking so long with updates. I'll try to continue this faster if I can. Not a huge chapter, but I'm resolving this battle once and for all.

* * *

**Tokyo 3, Japan**

Shinji Ikari ran down the streets of Tokyo 3 with widened and confused eyes, not paying any mind to Rukia as she ran behind him.

_So…they're human souls…they…have as much a right to existence as we do, these so-called monsters…what am I doing…aren't I just doing what I did with Kaworu again and again?!_

**"Shinji! Focus! It's heading right for Misato!"**

_Always…always saving the day…is that really me, Kaworu?_

"_SHUT UP!"_

_Shinji Ikari stiffened as he heard Asuka's voice inside of him, berating and cruel but full of firm determination._

"_You were always such a wuss, Third Child. I have no idea why SHE fell in love with you."_

"_But…they have a right to existence…Kaworu did…they're…they're human souls!"_

"_Shut up and do your duty! Or you'll never see her again…"_

**"Asuka…"**

Rukia grimaced, clearly aware that Shinji was babbling with his mind elsewhere.

**"Focus, Shinji! It's right there! We have no time to discuss the philosophies or rights of existence for these monsters. They must be destroyed, or else, Misato will die!"**

* * *

Misato stiffened as she felt the ground around her shake. Maybe she HAD had too much liquor previously, Kaji had always warned her against such drunken tomfoolery. Or had that been Ritsuko?

_Too mixed up…what's going on?!_

She turned around just in time to see the impossible. A tall clawed beast in front of her, looming ominously with what seemed to be a grotesque caricature of Ryōji Kaji's face beneath a half-cleaved mask and his flowing ponytail.

**"K-Kaji?!"**

_This…isn't possible…_

She had no time to react as the monster's clawed fist slammed into her, batting her away like some toy.

* * *

Shinji's eyes widened in surprise.

**"You mean…Hollows attack their own families?**

Rukia nodded sternly as she replied.**  
**

**"Yes, Shinji!"**

**"Why is that?! Aren't the hungry monsters indiscriminate? Don't they just eat souls when they're hungry?"**

**"The ones that do that…have already devoured their families…"**

**"What?!"**

**"That's why that last Hollow went after you…and that's why this one is going after Misato…One last thing, Hollows don't eat souls because they're hungry…they do it to ease their pain and suffering. A Hollow or 'Angel' is a fallen soul, a soul that wasn't brought to Soul Society by a Shinigami. Souls that escaped or weren't protected from Hollows. A soul like that just degenerates, loses its heart, and becomes a Hollow itself. These dark souls, they seek out their families and friends in their past lives, purely to fill their empty and hollow hearts. You often hear stories about a husband dying and then the wife dying a few years after, right? That's because the husband became a Hollow and ate the wife's soul…today, when we saw Misato, she had a bruise on her leg, a mark, right? That was a Hollow bite mark. That's why I asked if she had any family, and you said…Kaji was the closest thing she'd had, and he was dead…"**

**"You mean?!"**

**"If you were right, then that leaves no doubt, Shinji. Misato is the one being attacked!"**

* * *

Misato gasped for air, finding herself on the pavement, a chain connecting her to…her own body?

_What…what's going on?! What is this monster? My body is…over there? What the hell happened to me?!_

She felt faint, grasping at the chain connected to her chest.

_Did I die? My head is spinning…Kaji…Shinji…What's this chain? It really hurts…I want to break it…_

**"Have you forgotten me already, my Misato?"**

Misato's eyes widened as she turned to gaze at the terrifying monster before her, taking in its vicious but…eerily familiar voice.

**"W-Who are you? How do you know my name?!"**

**"You've already forgotten my voice? How sad, Misato…"**

In an instant the beast brought its claw down hard towards Misato once more, intending to rend her apart.

However it was stopped, and there she saw Shinji Ikari with the largest sword she had ever seen in her life blocking the claw. Shinji grimaced, dressed in strange black robes as he tried his best to stop the claw, in between Misato and the beast.

**"Sh-Shinji?!"**

The beast let out a defiant roar, shaking its head from side to side.

**"YOU INTERFERE?!"**

**"Sorry…but it's kinda my job now…if you want to kill Misato, you better kill me first!"**

The beast stepped back, revealing that it did not have legs per se, rather a serpentine lower body in the form of a massive snake-like tail. Its upper body was highly muscular, up to its clawed arms and vicious-looking mask with a ponytail sprouting out of it.

It paused there, staring at Shinji, who found himself rather intimidated indeed.

_Is it going to give up or run away? Maybe me blocking it surprised it…someone's on the ground over there too…who is that?_

Shinji's eyes opened wide as he beheld…another Misato sprawled onto the floor, connected by a chain to the Misato he had just defended.

_Misato?! It can't be? She's behind me right now!_

**"Shinji! It's you!"**

_How can Misato see me in my Shinigami form?!_

**"You can see me?"**

**"Um…yes, I can Shinji…what are you talking about?"**

The beast's voice and steamy breath suddenly came from right behind Shinji's face as it replied and assessed the situation both Misato and Shinji were in.

**"ISN'T IT OBVIOUS? IT'S BECAUSE THAT'S HER SOUL! TOO BAD FOR YOU, MISATO IS ALREADY DEAD!"**

In an instant the beast sent its tail swinging at Shinji, who just barely managed to block it…but found himself overcome from the strength behind the blow and unable to cut the skin of the tail.

_Scales? My blade can't cut through this thing?!_

Shinji let out a gasp as the tail sent him flying up into the air, just barely managing to stop himself by slamming his hand into the pavement and skidding to a halt.

**"Damn it!"**

The beast let out a wild laugh, shaking its head.

**"What's wrong?! For a guy spouting off big words, your movements sure are slow. Aren't you supposed to be a Shinigami? The Third Child himself? Is it that much of a shock that Misato's soul has been removed from her body, huh, SHINJI IKARI!"**

Letting out that final part as a roar, the beast opened up its maw and sent out a stream of unknown liquid flying out towards Shinji. Shinji's eyes widened as the stream slammed against the hand holding his sword and began to painfully burn and seer his flesh.

Dropping his sword, he gasped in surprised and held his burnt hand.

**"What?!"**

He had no time to say anything else as the monster's tail slammed him hard into the pavement, leaving his body limp. Rukia ran towards him in surprise and terror, while Misato found herself paralyzed on the floor in terror just as the beast reached out and grasped her with one massive clawed hand.

**"Shinii! Let me go! Shinji!"**

The beast stared down at her, and it was only then that Misato realized it was almost _gently_ holding her in its claws.

**"HAVE YOU REALLY FORGOTTEN ME, MISATO? IT'S ME."**

The beast brushed away part of its hair to reveal the section of its mask that had been torn apart earlier by Shinji's sword, revealing an eye that was eerily familiar to Misato Katsuragi.

**"K-Kaji?!"**

Meanwhile, Rukia was shaking the unconscious Shinji as best she could, though it only took him a few seconds to come to, grasping the bruises on his head and groaning.

**"Wake up Ichigo!"**

**"Ugh…what…what happened…"**

**"What do you mean? Why did you get slapped around like that?!"**

**"…I don't know…this is different from before…"**

**"How is it different from any other battle? Your friends have always been in danger from these beasts. You have to destroy them!"**

**"But…it's…Kaji!"**

**"I see, well then…don't forget…if you lose, that beast you call 'Kaji' will devour Misato's soul!"**

Misato gazed up at the beast, overcome with emotion, trembling in its claw.

**"Is…is that really you, Kaji?"**

**"Yes…it is me Misato. So…you haven't forgotten me completely then."**

**"Then why are you doing this?! You attacked Shinji!"**

**"WHY!? ISN'T IT OBVIOUS!? They're trying to tear you and I apart! Trying to separate our love!"**

**"Huh?"**

**"After I died…you would pray for me everyday, I know…I was always watching, it always made me feel so happy…I had died, but I felt that everything would be alright just because of your prayers. But years have gone by and I've seen you doing nothing but care for Shinji! Since then I watched as the days you thought and prayed for me diminished…then…Shinji Ikari finally woke up…and you stopped praying for me entirely! You'd do nothing but talk about him and Asuka! I was seeing myself disappear more and more from your thoughts…"**

**"Th-That's not true…I still miss you…I always think about you!"**

**"I was sad, so lonely…so lonely I just couldn't ignore the feeling anymore…the hunger…TO KILL!"**

The beast let out a vicious roar, but just then it perked up and glanced backwards just in time to see Shinji Ikari rushing towards its back with his sword raised.

Moving with consummate speed, the beast slammed Shinji with its tail and pinned him to the ground firmly and painfully.

**"No! Shinji!"**

**"Enough of this! Let's be together, Misato. Together with me, like that whole week we spent in love…together with me like we used to be…let's be together forever!"**

**"If you were sad…you should have told me Kaji…why hurt Shinji like this? You always used to like him as much as I did! You BELIEVED in him! My lover…wasn't a person who did things like this!"**

Inside the beast that was Kaji, those words made the final snap. The beast let out a pained roar, gripping Misato painfully in its claws until she screamed and gasped for air.

**"WHO DO YOU THINK TURNED ME INTO THIS?! IT WAS YOU, MISATO! YOU AND NERV! I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU ALL!"**

Suddenly, the beast gasped in pain and suffocation even worse than Misato had been when he had been squeezing the life out of her. The beast's tail had suddenly been sliced into dozens of pieces!

Shinji Ikari rose, a painful fury in his eyes.

**"This isn't love…this isn't love…You protect your lover…you live for them…you never say things like that…Asuka taught me that…and she's still with me…protecting me…"**

**"WHY DO YOU KEEP INTERFERING, SHINJI IKARI!"**

**"Because…Misato means as much to me as she did once to you…and I won't let you hurt her."**

* * *

_Kaji grinned grimly and spoke, the smoke from his cigarette wafting to the gray ceiling above_

"_You know what, Shinji? I found out I was afraid of dying. There's never been a moment when I was more afraid, not in all my life."_

_Shinji stared at Kaji, stricken with terror._

"_Did…Did you tell them?"_

_Kaji looked down, the shadows absorbing his handsome face, his eyes drooping as if to answer in affirmative._

"_What…What happened?"_

"_They left after they found out…they were going to kill me anyway, but I managed to get past the guard and sprinted towards where my friends were, to warn them…When…When I got back to our building...I saw soldiers burning rubber, looking like they were making a getaway. All of them…All of them…"_

_Kaji looked Shinji in the face as Shinji's eyes widened even more._

"_I lived to tell this story…by taking the lives of my friends…and my brother. So yeah, it was simple. I had traded them for me."_

_Kaji's hands shook imperceptivity as he continued._

"_But…I started to think about it this way…What in the hell were we all doing in that situation, anyway? It was because of the Second Impact. It was…something to go on, something to go on for. It was around that time that the U.N. published the official explanation for that event. A meteor had hit Antarctica they said. I didn't buy it. If there were people behind this, then they should be punished, or they would only make more victims…I thought I could atone for my brother…by uncovering the truth of what happened."_

_Kaji pulled out a cigarette and calmly lighted it._

"_I was lucky, I eventually found relatives who took me back in. Got back in school, and they sent me to college. Learned a lot there…"_

"_To become a spy?"_

"_Hah…You could say that…It was then that I met Katsuragi…We fell in love right away. We were so happy. But…we were consumed by our happiness. That suddenly, one day, some fear stuck me down. I wondered…if I deserved this, when I killed my own brother."_

"_What!" Is that why you broke up?"_

"_I just couldn't spend my time being in love anymore…"_

"_I feel sorry for Misato…I think…she still loves you. She…She said that there are something you can't help, even if you're in love."_

_Kaji took a puff of his cigarette and looked intently at the floor._

"_It's the same…with her, Shinji."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_She's the sole survivor of the Katsuragi Expedition that was there when Second Impact happened. There was never any meteor. She's the only living soul who actually saw it up close. Her father was heading the investigation of the object called "Adam" that they had discovered…buried in Antarctica. And then, it happened. They were both wounded, with only one escape vessel. He put her in. She survived…he died."_

_Shinji's eyes widened once more as he heard Misato's past._

"_It runs down her body you know…The scar, it runs deep inside. I know it's why she joined NERV, just like it's why I'm spying on it. Neither of us…deserve to be happy. And...Shinji…Neither do you."_

_Kaji stared Shinji intently in the eyes, Kaji's eyes now gaining a harder less casual look to them._

"_What do you mean...I'm not the same as you…Are…you…You're talking about Toji! That wasn't my fault. Dad did it!"_

_Shinji roared with all his weak voice._

"_Toji died because of dad!"_

_Kaji slowly held the cigarette in his fingers, the smoke billowing around._

"_And you, Shinji. You just watched…You could've stopped it if you tried. If you had fought before they switched over to the dummy system you might have been able to defeat the angel, and save Suzuhara's life. But…you didn't. Suzuhara died…and you survived. Just like how I survived."_

* * *

**"We always deserved happiness together…it was the only place we could find it…Just the two of us…I won't let you have her in the living world anymore, Shinji Ikari."**

**"What?!"**

**"You're no less of a monster than me…you know that, Third Child. I will not be the final messenger to come! There are even more of us!"**

The beast let out a vicious roar, flying forward with its mouth opened wide to swallow Shinji whole, only to have him block the massive fangs with his sword and stop it from closing entirely.

**"Misato…isn't an object…she doesn't…belong to anyone…"**

**"SHE'S MINE! ALL OF HER! I LIVED MY LIFE FOR HER! FOR THE LOVE WE SHOULD HAVE HAD TOGETHER! THE LIFE WE SHOULD HAVE HAD! SHE MUST DIE FOR ME!"**

The monster suddenly swerved away, flying straight towards Misato with the intent to swallow her whole. To Shinji's surprise, she didn't move at all, letting it bite onto her arm and shoulder and then grasping its fanged mouth with a sad look in her eyes.

The beast for its own part stopped its attack, staring at her tenderness with shocked and widening eyes as blood dripped from the bite marks on her body.

**"At the beginning…Kaji…all I did was pray for you…but I realized then, I didn't want you just seeing me being sad, I thought that would worry you…I wanted you to know what was going on in my life, to know that I was okay now and that I would always love you…to know that Shinji and Asuka were okay…That's why I wanted to show you that I was happy now! That you wouldn't have to worry for me anymore!"**

The beast fell to its knees as Misato continued.

**"I'm sorry…I didn't realize I was making you lonely and sad, Kaji…"**

Shinji's eyes widened as Misato spoke.

**"Misato!"**

However, Rukia grasped him by the shoulder, strengthening his resolve and speaking in a commanding voice.

**"Rukia?!"**

**"The chain of fate on her chest isn't broken yet. As long as she is still connected to her body with it, there's still hope, she's not yet dead. I can fix her with my Shinigami arts!"**

Rukia rushed forward to heal Misato while the beast that was Kaji fell to its hands and knees and stared at Shinji, muttering under its steamy breath.

**"Yeah…in truth I knew that you had stopped praying for me because you didn't want me to see you sad. But I…actually wanted you to keep praying, because only during the time that you were praying for me was your heart still completely mine, Misato…"**

Shinji grimaced, glancing at the beast.

**"What are you talking about? She still sees you in her dreams every night…She's always talking about you, Kaji. She never stopped wearing that crucifix because of YOU."**

Kaji's eyes widened in surprise.

**"You told me you two were survivors who never deserved happiness because you traded your lives away. You said I was like that too…but you know what Kaji? That's bullshit. Asuka taught me that."**

**"I…never noticed…"**

The beast began to grasp its own mask and rip it off, shattering it into pieces as blood streamed down its face.

**"What are you doing?! Kaji?**

**"It's fine…I told you before, I don't deserve happiness. If I stay like this, I might lose myself and come back and attack her again one day. That's why, now that I have regained a small piece of myself and my sanity…I wish to finally disappear."**

**"But…"**

Rukia interrupted, shaking her head sternly.

"His decision is correct. Once you become a Hollow, you can never revert back…allow him to disappear."

**"But…Rukia!"**

**"Don't worry…Cutting a Hollow isn't the same thing as killing them, it isn't the same thing as 'destroying an Angel' as you humans thought. It is to wash away their sins! By cutting them with the zanpakutou, their sins are washed away and they can go to Soul Society. That's why we Shinigami exist!"**

Shinji's eyes widened and he fell to his knees.

**"Then that means...Kaworu?"**

* * *

_Kawuro turned as he heard a large crash behind him, just in time to see Evangelion Unit 01 stalk into the chamber, a dozen or more feet away._

_Kawuro smiled serenely as the large Evangelion hand grasped him, tight enough to stop escape, but not too tight as to break his skeleton._

_"Ah Shinji…I am glad. Thank you Shinji."_

_"Kawuro!"_

_"I wished you to take Unit 02 from me, otherwise I may have survived much longer"_

_"Kawuro…Why?"_

_"It is my destiny to live forever, though it will destroy the Lillim. However it is possible for me to be killed, and whether I live or die makes no great difference. The one thing you Lillim have never been able to grasp, is death maybe the only absolute freedom there ever was."_

_"What are you talking about Kawuro! I don't understand this!"_

_"This is my last wish, Shinji. Destroy me. Otherwise you will be destroyed. The life that escapes the time of annihilation, and that obtains the future, is only one and, you are not the one who must die."_

_Shinji looked down, his entire body shivering._

_"Shinji? Why do you hesitate? You need the future. It is what you live for."_

_"Kawuro…."_

_"Thank you. My life was meaningful because of you…Goodbye"_

* * *

Kaji gave a sad smile, feeling his body slowly beginning to disintegrate as he began to kneel over Misato's wounded form.

**"There's something…I always wanted to tell you…Misato…"**

**"I know…I always loved you too, Kaji."**

Ryōji Kaji's form disappeared finally, with a single stream of tears flowing down its face as it returned to oblivion.

_

* * *

_

**Enough**  
**Sometimes when I feel the life  
At the brink of my throat  
Overwhelming  
I feel my vision blur  
As I curse the curs  
Deep within, that in the guise  
Of love as wealth  
Tore my soul  
From myself  
And crumble my mumbling health  
Turned sober from life?  
I beg to differ  
Life rammed itself into  
My stomach  
Teeter  
Makes me feel like an  
Old drunk  
These days you don't need a bottle  
To vomit  
Or a syringe  
To feel withdrawal  
Sometimes life  
Is more than  
Enough**

_**Copyright Sanbud Tehrani**_

* * *

Not a bad chapter, hopefully. I tried to make the crossover fluid and interesting to fans of both series. By the way, please don't hesitate to review, it tells me people are actually reading!_  
_


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